Friday, February 22, 2008

saying when

It's time.
The fat lady is shrieking.
[insert here several quippy metaphors of your own. make sure they demonstrate graphically the desperate end of an event, or in this case, a 36-year-old woman. extra bonus points if your metaphor includes the words ROPE-- as in 'at the end of', and UNCLE! - as in, 'Lord, have mercy']
All metaphors aside...
i'm exhausted.
There was a day when I had four kids under the age of six, scheduling pretty much every waking moment of my life -- and many, many sleeping moments, too. Physical, emotional, mental and spiritual exhuastion during those days was status quo -- almost a badge of honor.
Thankfully, that day is not today.
Three of the kids are crashing at the church tonight -- going without food to raise money for kids who are truly at the end of their rope without food and clean water. (small shout out for any interested donors...we're still collecting money).
Youngest daughter is going to amazing hero of an aunt's house to sleep over and get spoiled rotten.
Husband is still in Arkansas.
It's time to UNPLUG.
Take the phone off the hook.
Pretend I'm living back in the '80's and do not have access to cell phone, laptop, home computer, DVR, digital cable, the-mother-of-all-that's-right-this-century, Netflix, and iPod...well, maybe not that..that's going too far!
I'm going to blow the layer of dust off my journal, put the kettle on for tea, crank up the fire and ask my Abba on a date.
I miss His Voice.
And, if He feels like it, I'd like Him to talk with me about a (small!) list of things that have been accumulating in my mind -- nagging at me to consider...
  1. Ezekiel chapter 20. Especially the following statements He made... "Son of man, talk with the leaders of Israel. Tell them, 'God, the Master says, "Have you come to ask me questions? As sure as I am the living God, I'll not put up with questions from you...."Son of man, why don't you do it? Yes, go ahead. Hold them accountable. Confront them..." "But they rebelled against me, wouldn't listen to a word I said. None got rid of the vile things they were addicted to. They held if for dear life. I seriously considered inflicting my anger on them in force...Then I thought better of it. I acted out of who I was, not by how I felt. And I acted in a way that would evoke honor, not blasphemy from the nations around them..." [this statement is repeated about five times in one chapter]
  2. this John Maxwell quote a leader asked me to think about "Everyone you know and all the people you meet have the potential to be someone important in the lives of others. All they need is encouragement and motivation from you to help them reach their potential."
  3. this excerpt about "the lure of nothing" from C.S. Lewis in The Screwtape Letters and Screwtape Proposes A Toast "Nothing is very strong: strong enough to steal away a man's best years not in sweet sins but in a dreary flickering of the mind over it knows not what and knows not why, in the gratification of curiosities so feeble that the man is only half aware of them, in drumming of fingers and kicking of heels, in whistling tunes that he does not like, or in the long, dim labryinth of reveries that have not even lust or ambition to give them a relish, but which, once chance association has started them, the creature is too weak and fuddled to shake off...The only thing that matters is the extent to which you separate the man from the Enemy...Murder is no better than cards if cards do the trick. Indeed, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts." [thanks to Nancy Beach for posting this]
Chances are Abba and I will end up talking about completely different topics.
I imagine He has a list He's been accumulating for me.
Waiting for me to turn off all the other noise in order to listen for the beautiful noise of Him.
I should be so lucky.

Monday, February 18, 2008

in other news...

My sister, Kaley, just started her own blog. Go here to read her first post. Make sure you read all the way to the end. I don't want to spoil the surprise!

diary of a mad woman

(read: "mad" as in slightly frenetic, on the verge of hysterical, even)

(full disclosure: I'm writing this as I sit on the edge of my bed at 9:03am, in my pajamas, eating a bowl of chocolate pudding and bananas, listening to electronica by itsnotyouitsme; if i start making art out of tufts of hair falling out of my head, or worse, take up macrame, someone please call 911)

Saturday, February 9
  • scrub entire house (all 3,000 square feet) for Open House on Sunday
  • Brian works his a_ _ off to complete our bathroom remodel in time for Open House on Sunday
Sunday, February 10
  • stay out of house until late afternoon (even took the jack russell to church with us...she loved hanging out in Brian's office)
  • later in the p.m. discover that only one family walked through the house.
  • discover that one family loved the house.
Monday, February 11
  • do not care that this is the last day of our contingency contract on charming Cape Cod with beautiful woodwork since we have signed an renewal contract
  • go to the movies. (Juno...loved it.)
  • hear from realtor during the movie that another offer has come in on the charming Cape Cod with the beautiful woodwork and that we now have 48 hours to purchase or we lose the house.
  • during same call hear that the family that loves our house has an appointment with mortgage co. to determine their offer on our house that appointment is 40 hours away.

Tuesday, February 12

  • spend all day confused, thinking this is the last day of the contract.

Wednesday, February 13

  • spend all day confused that this is the deadline for the new worship director hire.
  • discover i have till midnight to hold out hope for the house and till next week to hold out hope for the new hire
  • lose the charming Cape Cod with beautiful woodwork at 8pm (no sense waiting until midnight)

Thursday, February 14

  • mildly recognize the fact that it is Valentine's Day
  • as we pass by a church sign promoting a Valentine's Day "vow renewal" service on our way in to work, joke with Brian that we will be too busy spending our evening keeping our vows to renew them (four kids, three different locations...always a fun time.)
  • get message from realtor that our deposit money on the charming Cape Cod with beautiful woodwork is being refunded
  • cry
  • get call from realtor about a charming Four Square with beautiful woodwork in the Italian section of Endicott
  • drive immediately to the house; like it, but think it may be too small

Friday, February 15

  • leave town overnight with Brian. (did you think we wouldn't find a way to celebrate Valentine's Day...silly!)
  • get call from realtor that the family who loves our house did not hear what they wanted from the mortgage company, but are still working on their offer. they will put their house on the market on Monday and will be back soon with an offer.

Saturday, February 16

  • get call from realtor about an excellent potential house with a price reduction
  • get online to check out excellent potential house withe price reduction
  • yell our heads off at SU vs. Georgetown game

Sunday, February 17

  • look at two houses after church; the excellent potential house with a price reduction and the charming Four Square with beautiful woodwork in the Italian section
  • like the EJ house with ok woodwork, but don't love it (even though the size is perfect for us and it includes a couple of excellent man-cave options for Brian and his cigars)
  • Brian laughs at the charming Four Square with the beautiful woodwork in the Italian section (I knew it was too small!)
  • sign blank documents for the EJ house with the ok woodwork because there is another offere expected and Brian is leaving in the morning for ten days and we are expecting an offer on our house tomorrow sometime
  • get call from our realtor on the way home that the family that loves our house overestimated the market value of their current home and will not be able to put it on the market right away and most likely will not be able to make an offer on our house until they do
  • Brian decides it's a good thing he didn't cancel his trip to Arkansas (yes, you heard that correctly...Arkansas)
  • wonder why Arkansas isn't spelled Arkansaw??
  • feel even more annoyed
  • we tell realtor we'll get back to her on our official offer for the EJ house with ok woodwork before morning
  • later in the evening we get a call from realtor that the other offer on the EJ house with the ok woodwork came in. do we want to counter?
  • we decide we're not ready to commit
  • later, later in the evening we get a call from the realtor that the offer was lowball with a contingency and is being turned down
  • we decide to not make any further decisions
  • I make chocolate pudding and go to bed

Monday, February 18

  • after dreaming all night about the worship director hire, wake up to say good-bye to Brian for ten long, miserable days
  • wonder what i'll do for foot rubs for the next ten days (and that is not a euphemism)
  • go to the refrigerator and get out the chocolate pudding

(I don't typically choose to post in diary format. It doesn't quite match my tagline of "learnings from a woman who is longing to be elaborate, extravagent, overgenerous and wasteful in my pursuit of worshipping God." )

  • (Decide that maybe it does)

Thursday, February 07, 2008

poetry in motion

This is so stinkin' ridiculously cool.
(and why i often daydream of living in nyc)

Monday, February 04, 2008

men in my life...

My 14-year-old son, Alex experienced pheasant hunting
for the first time with my Dad last week.
I love this picture.
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