...alone and unprotected....
this is the message of my wounds from my very earliest memories .... the name given me by the foul and slithering enemies that schemed against me in my exuberant youth...
...this is the message that God has been transforming into 'loved and cared for' as I continue to bore into the core of Him and I continue to let Him make the rules in my relationships with other people...
...alone and unprotected wakes me up in the dark stillness of night with sadness and fear and scary pictures in my head....
...loved and cared for is what pulls off the covers of me and moves me from my breathless sleep to cry heart tears of pain and anger and hurt to my Abba...
...in between the darkness of dreams and the light of his voice, i invite Him into those curled up corners of my soul... to bring His gentle truth caresses ...the ones that whisper secrets to me about who He is and who I am....
....loved and cared for, i uncurl and stretch out and breathe fully again....
...my good dream is that alone and unprotected will become courageous and dangerous to the enemy and his forces and his lies (and all those traitors who have joined his side)....
....loved and cared for is rejected by my skulking flesh who would prefer to be entitled to a state of victimhood....
....loved and cared for is accused and mocked by my enemy who wishes to take me to a place of self-pity and self-protection which is the doorway to despair and death...
...alone and unprotected is my enemy and is only truth about the name he has chosen for himself...it is not the real me...
....loved and cared for is my eternal name .... it is stamped on my forehead and on his hands and in his eyes and, i'm sure, magic-markered on my heavenly nametag...
ps. if i'm reading Psalm 95 even closely to correctly, then my strong Abba also promises to put all of my enemies back into their place and to bring justice where abuse has been given me...in his time and in his way and in his mercy (merciful Daddy, please go kick their butts!!)
