Most of us were taught that God would love us if and when we change. In fact, God loves you so that you can change. What empowers change, what makes you desirous of change, is the experience of love. It is that inherent experience of love that becomes the engine of change. If the mystics say that one way, they say it a thousand ways. But because most of our common religion has not been at the mystical level, we’ve been given an inferior message—that God loves you “when” you change (“moralism”). It puts it all back on you, which is the opposite of being "saved.” Moralism leads you back to “navel-gazing” and you can never succeed at that level. You are never holy enough, pure enough, refined enough, or loving enough. Whereas, when you fall into God’s mercy, when you fall into God’s great generosity, you find, seemingly from nowhere, this capacity to change. No one is more surprised than you are. You know it is a gift.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Monday Mixtape :: 16 april (and a new look)
It's time for a new look here on Mondays. This week we're looking at art that caught my attention over the past couple of weeks. They happen to be somewhat connected on the theme of farms; other than that, my brain's pretty tired and good art makes me happy.
I hope you enjoy, too!
p.s., if you don't have time to take in all 5 tracks this week, don't miss the Wendell Berry poem in track 4!
track 1: painting
track 2: music
County Farm Blues
Son House
track 3: short film
Tiger in a Jar: fig + fauna farm
track 4: poem
Practice resurrection
Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.
Wendell Berry
"Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front" from The Country of Marriage (1973)
"Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front" from The Country of Marriage (1973)
track 5: links
from the website:
Christ Church Garden is a partnership between Christ Church Austin and Genesis Gardens through the Seed Sower’s program. Our goal is to feed the homeless of Austin through local, sustainable, organic gardening while we support Genesis Gardens as they not only feed, but empower the homeless of Austin. This blog post is a good overview of the program and it’s leader, Steven Hebbard. You can contact me to volunteer or with any questions at evans@austinequine.com
my note: Since coming to Austin, we have come to love many, many people, but none more than the inimitable, bow-tie-wearing, country horse veterinarian, pipe-crafting Matt Evans. He oversees the garden and the blog. He's pretty awesome himself.
Happy Monday, y'all!
Happy Monday, y'all!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
be believing (my stab at a poem)
re-posting from Easter week 2, 2011
 |
| Caravaggio |
Unschooled me trying to write poetic verse, I learn best by imitation. Hoping it is still considered bona fide flattery, this week I choose as tutor for my raggedy words Luci Shaw's Ascending
.
.
be believing
(John 20:19-30)
Later on
that day / the dark room
was enough
to concoct buttoned down
in our minds.
While we lingered bolted-in
shut-up / You
breezed past barricade as One
hole-pocked / exhaling
absolution, a hot gust
peace be with you;
materializing new
as Yourself / awake & alive
after the woman's claim
you spoke her name.
afraid / our fingers
trace your split side
'til we inhale
Your closer breathing
our truer air.
Friday, April 13, 2012
7 Quick Takes: homemade pretzels, cascarones, my new life as a rabbit and more...
I got the recipe from A Continual Feast and mixed up the dough while friends visited one of the long days Brian was in Guatemala. Traditionally (as early as the fifth century), the pretzel was eaten only during Lent. Each year on Ash Wednesday bakers started making them and each year on Good Friday stopped. The early Christians fasted from all dairy products during Lent, making the simple ingredients of flour, salt and water a perfect Lenten substitute.
I wish I took a picture. But I didn't. You can look here from some online examples, though. (by the way, I don't know this good woman or her blog, but our pretzels turned out looking pretty much identical!)
Pretzels
(from A Continual Feast by Evelyn Birge Vitz)
1 Tbsp. honey or sugar
1 1/2 cups lukewarm water
1 envelope active dry yeast
1 tsp. salt4 cups flour
Coarse or kosher salt (we only had sea salt on hand)
1 egg, beaten
Add the sugar (or honey) to the water; sprinkle in the yeast and stir until dissolved. Add 1 tsp salt. Blend in the flour, and knead the dough until smooth.
Cut the dough into pieces. Roll them into ropes and twist into pretzel shapes. You can make small pretzels with thin ropes, or large ones with fat ropes, but remember that to cook at the same rate, your pretzels need to be all the same size.
Place the pretzels on lightly greaased cookie sheets. Brush them with beaten egg. Sprinkle with coarse salt.
Bake at 425 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes, until the pretzels are golden brown.*Natalie made a whole pan of cinnamon-sugar sprinkled pretzels (brushing on melted butter instead of egg). Everyone in the house NOT fasting from sugar loved her version too!
Thought you might enjoy one of my favorite photos Brian took during his week missions trip to Guatemala. His stories are meaningful, joyful and somewhat difficult to hear. Maybe I can convince him to write a guest post for us here?
In the meantime, a photo:
Here's our family Easter Sunday morning. We are truly as happy to be related to each other as we look.
There were many lovely spots we could have chosen for our group pose, but I've learned it's better to just get a shot while we're all in one place!
When I was little, we spent every Easter Sunday with a big dinner after church at my Grandma's house. Just like we spent Thanksgiving, Christmas, and every birthday for each of my 17 cousins. As we've gotten older and don't gather that way anymore, we've had a hard time keeping up the big meal on Easter Sunday because so many of my family members are pastors/ministry leaders. Everyone's too worn out to put out a spread for Easter Sunday lunch!
Now that we're in Austin, we were grateful for an invitation to a good, old-fashioned Easter Sunday feast with friends from Christ Church.
.JPG) |
| Grandma supervises the younger generation in dinner clean up while the adults hide eggs. |
.JPG) |
| We also enjoyed adopting a Mexican custom of the crushing cascarones (hollowed out egg shell filled with confetti) on each other's heads. I think Brian's getting ganged up on in this photo. |
Also, while I wasn't blogging during Lent, I began working for TaskRabbit, a innovative social media-fueled -connecting site for people who do not have time to complete all the tasks on their to-do list to hire reliable, temporary help to complete their tasks.
It's been quite an interesting experience so far! I could probably start running a weekly feature of all that I'm learning from putting myself out for hire to complete strangers. It's been equal parts intriguing and humbling.
If you live in one of the TaskRabbit cities, though, you should definitely check it out!
By far, my favorite task I've taken on so far is a temporary gig as the 2012 campaign manager for the annual Couponing for Community campaign that my sister dreamed up three years ago. In 2010, Kaley wanted to send a subversive message to the Extreme Couponing media blitz by initiating a grassroots effort among her fellow coupon bloggers and her readers at Cha-Ching on a Shoestring to unite their collective couponing powers for good. Within three years, the response has been so strong, that we've set a goal ten times larger than the total donations in 2010 to 30,000 items donated to food pantries, shelters or friends in need during the week of May 6-12.
I'm going to encourage my readers to join in this year and will set up a dedicated post to the campaign in a couple of days. In the meantime, head on over to the Couponing for Community facebook page and click "like" if you want to get connected!
--- 7 ---
Hope that smile on your face from watching this ambitious micro-entrepreneur lasts all weekend long and is contagious to everyone you meet!
He is risen!
Speaking of grassroots efforts, you really need to watch this story of Caine and his cardboard arcade. The whole story is 100% awesome. (thanks to my nephew Zachary for sharing this!)
Hope that smile on your face from watching this ambitious micro-entrepreneur lasts all weekend long and is contagious to everyone you meet!
He is risen!
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
old skin / new hope
Lizard Picture - Animal Wallpaper - National Geographic Photo of the Day
Photograph by Michael Walker, My Shot
This Month in Photo of the Day: Nature and Weather Photos
Spring is busting out all over southeast Texas. New leaves, flower buds, and a green anole busting out of its old skin and starting over. Shot on February 26, 2012.
Signposts of Hope
"With Easter, God's new creation is launched upon a surprised world, pointing ahead to the renewal, the redemption, the rebirth of the entire creation.... every act of love, every deed done in Christ and by the Spirit, every work of true creativity -- doing justice, making peace, healing families, resisting temptation, seeking and winning true freedom -- is an earthly event in a long history of things that implement Jesus's own resurrection and anticipate the final new creation and act as signposts of hope."
-- N.T. Wright, Surprised By Hope
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
from the book pile, 2012: Wendell Berry, Madeleine L'Engle, Brennan Manning
to see the book pile from 2011, click here
I've been working my way through the tower of books teetering off the antique writing desk that serves as my nightstand. Working my way through reading and working my way through the thoughts and learnings each title provokes.
When I first started this blog in 2006 one of my goals was to nurture a forum that kept me accountable for the cultural goods I consume. Of course, I didn't really know then to articulate the goal in those terms. The truth dawns gradually: as in in worship so as in culture -- I did not make it, but it is making me.
Having also gotten quite clear with the truth that I will never be a professional book reviewer, I've let myself off the hook and changed up the way I document my reading.
I've been working my way through the tower of books teetering off the antique writing desk that serves as my nightstand. Working my way through reading and working my way through the thoughts and learnings each title provokes.
When I first started this blog in 2006 one of my goals was to nurture a forum that kept me accountable for the cultural goods I consume. Of course, I didn't really know then to articulate the goal in those terms. The truth dawns gradually: as in in worship so as in culture -- I did not make it, but it is making me.
Having also gotten quite clear with the truth that I will never be a professional book reviewer, I've let myself off the hook and changed up the way I document my reading.
Every new year, I consider making a number goal for books read in the coming twelve months. It's never a good idea; rather takes away the enjoyment of arriving at December 31 and tallying up titles from the previous year. Feels like an accomplishment no matter the number. Hope you enjoy!
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1. Watch With Me: and Six Other Stories of the Yet-Remembered Ptolemy Proudfoot and His Wife, Miss Minnie Nee' Quinch
Author: Wendell Berry
Genre: fiction, short story
Published: Pantheon, 1995
General Impression: Whenever I visit the fictional town of Port William, Kentucky with Berry as my storytelling guide, something deep inside me stretches out and relaxes. Even though his characters are not shallow, meeting their days with their own set of complexities, I feel like I can relax that truth will be told in the light of humor, humility and grace. It's true that Wendell Berry tells his stories with a determination to protect the agrarian legacy of our nation, but his stories don't ever succumb to mushy sentimentalism about "the way it was" or, worse, back-handed sermonette between the lines of his character's dialogue. (if only James Cameron had learned at the Wendell Berry school of storytelling!)
While, the stories of the kind, lumbering farmer Tol Proudfoot and his school-marm-turned-adoring-wife, Minnie, didn't capture my imagination quite as much as Hannah Coulter and her family, I loved every minute of time we spent together in these six short interweaving stories. Actually, I sort of felt like I grew up knowing the Ptolemy Proudfoot sort of genteel, gregarious country men among my grandparents' generation. And, really, Wendell Berry knows the basic elements of true romance, telling the story of Tol's unspoken admiration for Miss Minnie and his knight-in-shining-armor attempt to earn her attention, outbidding everyone for her pie at the school auction. Who needs a super model leading man and woman with that kind of old-fashioned chivalry? Sigh.
Read this book to rest and delight in the ageless craftsmanship of good story-telling.
Read this book to rest and delight in the ageless craftsmanship of good story-telling.
One of my all-time favorite character descriptions (an excerpt from chapter 1, "A Consent - 1908"):
"Tol was overabundant in both size and strength. And perhaps because animate creatures tended to get out of his way, he paid not much attention to himself. He damaged his clothes just by being in them, as though surprising them by an assortment of stresses and strains for which they had not been adequately prepared. The people around Port William respected Tol as a farmer; they loved to tell and retell and hear and hear again the tales of his great strength; they were amused by the looks of him, by his good humor, and by his outsized fumblings and foibles. But never, for a long time, would any of them have suspected that his great bulk might embody tender feelings."
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Author: Madeleine L'Engle
Genre: fiction
Published: HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins, 1992
General Impression:
A while back I set a goal to read Madeleine L'Engle's entire body of work. I intend to keep at that goal, but am so glad I didn't get to k now L'Engle first through this novel, Certain Women. I liked the protagonist, Emma, well enough. She had the typical similarities to all of Ms. L'Engle's female leads -- intelligent, introverted, compassionate, slightly traumatized, artistic, introspective, and a little bit lonely. Really seems like each one is just a re-interpretation of Madeleine's own self and own life.
Unlike some of L'Engle's other tight-knit fictional families, though, Emma Wheaton's family is highly dysfunctional. Her father, David, an American actor who has lived for 87-years modelling unhappy marriages, capricious affection toward his children and other selfish tendencies. Also unlike other plotlines, this novel includes more familial conflict than in others of her novels, more real-life trauma than I've read yet. And some of it rings true.
No worries: I still heart Madeleine. I just won't probably remember much from this story.
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Author: Brennan Manning
Genre: memoir
Published: David C. Cook, 2011
General Impression: First things first, I love the cover of this book! I wish I could show you some photos of some of my dad's family to explain how much similarity there is between Manning's face (especially those eyebrows!) and some of my second cousins and great uncles. OK, now on to a more proper review...
It's been a while since I've read anything by this author who has had such a deep influence on my understanding of Gospel grace. Over the past several months, I thought several times of pulling one or more of his titles off my shelf and re-reading. A couple of weeks before my birthday, Brian and I were strolling through a bookstore about ten minutes before it closed. I saw this on an endcap display and snatched it up without thinking twice, deciding it'd be a perfect early-birthday gift for me!
I read it one sitting -- until 2am. Manning's story did not surprise me as much as help me connect all the dots between the bits and pieces of self-disclosure I'd read in his other books. I was sad to hear so much suffering in his life, so much heartache, so many failures. And I was a bit nervous to turn each page, afraid to discover the story that would ultimately discredit all that I'd learned from this alcoholic, de-frocked priest. Instead, each sad story, each disappointing relationship, each new discovery of weakness served only to increase the man's credibility as a ragamuffin -- and now an aging, ailing man -- in need of grace. His stark, naked transparency about his own history as a liar and a drunk made only one thing glaringly true: all is grace, indeed.
An excerpt in which one favorite writer (Manning) quotes another favorite writer (Robert Farrar Capon):
"Some have labeled my message one of "cheap grace." In my younger days, their accusations were a gauntlet thrown down, a challenge. But I'm an old man now and I don't care...I have come across another [phrase] I would like to leave you with...I found it in the writings of the Episcopal priest Robert Farrar Capon. He calls it vulgar grace...My life is a witness to vulgar grace -- a grace that amazes as it offends. A grace that pays the eager beaver who works all day long the same wages as the grinning drunk who shows up at ten till five. A grace that hikes up the robe and runs breakneck toward the prodigal reeking of sin and wraps him up and decides to throw a party no ifs, ands, or buts. A grace that raises bloodshot eyes to a dying thief's request -- 'Please, remember me' -- and assures him, 'You bet!' A grace that is the pleasure of the Father, fleshed out in the carpenter Messiah, Jesus the Christ, who left His Father's side not for heaven's sake but for our sakes, yours and mine. This vulgar grace is indiscriminate compassion. It works without asking anything of us. It's not cheap. It's free, and as such will always be a banana peel for the orthodox foot and a fairy tale for the grown-up sensibility. Grace is sufficient even though we huff and puff with all our might to try to find something or someone it cannot cover. Grace is enough. He is enough. Jesus is enough."
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