Wednesday, March 03, 2010

stream of consciousness suitcase packing

I'm supposed to be leaving my house in about six hours to board a plane for San Antonio and then to get into a rental car and drive two more hours to Laity Lodge in the Hill Country of Kerrville, TX. I'm told I have to drive through a riverbed to enter this place.  That should make for a good story. I'm mostly packed and trying to catch up on work stuff before getting a few hours sleep.  I used to travel about 15 days out of every month for a living.  I took that job because I love taking off on adventures, but after 22 months, the shine kind of rubbed off.  Now, I go through about two days' worth of separation anxiety every time I'm about to leave my family.  The good news is that they don't feel the same way. They just kind of peck me on the cheek and say "See you on Sunday, Mom!"  I'm going to a retreat for Pastors and Ministers to Artists.  I think that fits me, but I'm not always too sure.  I've heard the retreat center is beautiful and that we'll have time everyday to just take walks or sit in a pretty place and think or read or work on art.  I'll take a blank notebook and a pen and see what happens.  I'm going to be away from telephones and internet and televisions for several days.  I think I'm glad about that, too.  We'll see.  A few weeks ago David emailed those of us attending the retreat and encouraged us to pray this simple prayer: "God, what's the one thing you have for me at this retreat?"  I'm not sure yet what the one thing is, but I know that I'm hoping to get to know some artist-minister-people that I can know and learn from.  Then maybe I won't feel like a crazy-person half the time.  Maybe I still will, but I'll feel like at least I'm  not the only one.  (which I already know, but the more the merrier, I always say!)  I'm going to meet The Welcome Wagon.  So that's pretty sweet.  And Charlie Peacock and his wife Andi Ashworth.  I read her book just a few months ago so I'm going to try to impress her with that.  Plus, Luci Shaw.  The last time I met Luci Shaw, I cried. Partly because I love her poems.  Partly because she was best friends with Madeleine L'Engle. We'll see how it goes this time.  I told David that I needed prayer to not keep feeling like the little kid sitting at the big people's table.  I know this is not true, but it feels true.  Alot.  I'm just learning all the time what it means for us to value art and artists in our context here in central NY state and at Union Center Christian Church.  I'm barely sure if I'm an artist myself, let alone a shepherd of the species.  So, maybe that's my one thing.  To keep hearing the call and to hear the next thing God has for me to do in this journey.  And that excites me.  A lot.

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