it's official -- i have SPRING FEVER in a big, big way! i've been kind of moping around the last couple of days and finally figured out why.
i'm done with winter. i mean literally done. i've enjoyed all the benefits of the winter -- the warm fuzzies of the Christmas season, the joy of bundling up next to the fireplace with a good book while the wind howls outside the window, the big snow day with my daughter's famous coffee cake -- and now i'm done. i realized that for about 7 years out of the last 10 i've either had a business trip or incentive trip to some warm, exotic place right about this time of year and that part of my life is over, but someone forgot to tell my body! (of course, following zephaniah317 road trip in the sunny, green West hasn't helped my maladay at all. )
so, i could post about the eventful weekend we had babysitting my 2 and 4 year old niece and nephew, or how hearing the french horn playing the Lord's Prayer on Sunday brought me to tears, or how thankful i am that there are now blue hot tamales (actually they are called ice tamales), or some vague references to major disappointments i am feeling with a former mentor in my life, or how b and i have learned that we can not have service evaluation meetings when we are in bed, or the response i gave to a John and Stasi Eldredge critique i read today or all the ways the sermon series on the kingdom is effecting me (is it effect or affect, i'm never certain!) -- SOOOO, i'll just leave the post saying that i am really, really, really missing warm sunshine right now.
be back again soon (or brb as my kids say) -- with a smile on my face
ps. z, maybe my blog template is a reflection of my current need for sunshine?!? actually i just like how the font colors show up on the black background...the colors are sooooo pretty.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Saturday, February 17, 2007
thinking about this quote today....
An invasion of armies can be resisted. But not an idea whose time has come.-- Victor Hugo
(an irony that i watched les miserables last night for the first time ever and received a Victor Hugo quote in my 'quote of the day' email today...)
(an irony that i watched les miserables last night for the first time ever and received a Victor Hugo quote in my 'quote of the day' email today...)
Monday, February 12, 2007
well whaddya know?!?
I've been reading my way through some books about the history and theology of worship. If I'm understanding correctly, the church in the third century had both a 'seeker' service and a 'believer' service.
who knew?!?
who knew?!?
Saturday, February 10, 2007
let's talk about Oprah for just a moment...
...I recorded Thursday's Oprah and am watching it this morning. I feel sorry for her. The show is called, "The Secret" and she has invited a panel of 'experts' on the secret of the universe -- the secret to living the greatest life possible for you -- the secret that will allow you to get out of debt, lose weight, make millions, and appearantly have the whitest teeth on the planet.
It seems that Norman Vincent Peale should be calling his lawyers 'cuz these guys have just repackaged "The Power of Positive Thinking".
Really, Jesus must be crying right now.
This panel of experts have just 'shanghaied' the truth of the King of the Universe and are taking all the credit for it ... as well as selling it in their DVD for a small cost.
They are taking the credit for Jesus' simple truth, "As a man is in his heart, so is he..." (Luke 6:45)
Now the guest on the show who is in $43,000 in debt because she and her husband spent money to feel more in control of their lives and then the man left her with the daughter and the bills is saying "I am sick and tired of being the victim" and the panel is giving her a list of tips and techniques to visualize her life of freedom ("close your eyes each morning and see yourself being able to do whatever you'd like to do with your daughter") This panel is so full of themselves and Oprah is so busy trying to prove to them that she is just as 'hip' to the secret of the universe that I literally feel sick to my stomach. Oh how I wish Jesus could just walk onto this stage and turn it over in righteous anger.
Now they're telling her that if she will forgive her husband and claim her birthright of feeling her best best about being a woman and a mother, "Claim it now, sweetheart" she will be able to walk in freedom. And Oprah responds, "Hallelujah!". And they are instructing her to be grateful and live in forgiveness and believe that she has the right to love herself. My heart is sobbing. Church where have we been? The truth is being robbed from our lips and repackaged without the true author's name. Our world is starving for Jesus Christ and the freedom he brings.
They are shouting over each other in order to be heard as the smartest, most successful people in the universe. I am thankful for the humility of my Savior. I am repentant for the times when I have ignored and even despised the truth of His upside down rules of freedom. (the greatest is the least, the rich squeeze through the needle's eye, the first shall be last...)
Woe to this group of people who worship the creature over the Creator and to us as a people...
For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
And so I'm sorry for Oprah because I believe God has called her name and she has refused to allow Him to take her life. What a sad, sad waste...
overwhelming grief...
It seems that Norman Vincent Peale should be calling his lawyers 'cuz these guys have just repackaged "The Power of Positive Thinking".
Really, Jesus must be crying right now.
This panel of experts have just 'shanghaied' the truth of the King of the Universe and are taking all the credit for it ... as well as selling it in their DVD for a small cost.
They are taking the credit for Jesus' simple truth, "As a man is in his heart, so is he..." (Luke 6:45)
Now the guest on the show who is in $43,000 in debt because she and her husband spent money to feel more in control of their lives and then the man left her with the daughter and the bills is saying "I am sick and tired of being the victim" and the panel is giving her a list of tips and techniques to visualize her life of freedom ("close your eyes each morning and see yourself being able to do whatever you'd like to do with your daughter") This panel is so full of themselves and Oprah is so busy trying to prove to them that she is just as 'hip' to the secret of the universe that I literally feel sick to my stomach. Oh how I wish Jesus could just walk onto this stage and turn it over in righteous anger.
Now they're telling her that if she will forgive her husband and claim her birthright of feeling her best best about being a woman and a mother, "Claim it now, sweetheart" she will be able to walk in freedom. And Oprah responds, "Hallelujah!". And they are instructing her to be grateful and live in forgiveness and believe that she has the right to love herself. My heart is sobbing. Church where have we been? The truth is being robbed from our lips and repackaged without the true author's name. Our world is starving for Jesus Christ and the freedom he brings.
They are shouting over each other in order to be heard as the smartest, most successful people in the universe. I am thankful for the humility of my Savior. I am repentant for the times when I have ignored and even despised the truth of His upside down rules of freedom. (the greatest is the least, the rich squeeze through the needle's eye, the first shall be last...)
Woe to this group of people who worship the creature over the Creator and to us as a people...
For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
And so I'm sorry for Oprah because I believe God has called her name and she has refused to allow Him to take her life. What a sad, sad waste...
overwhelming grief...
Monday, February 05, 2007
have you seen this commercial?
I was thinking the same thing as this author so I thought instead of restating, I'd just link the article...
did you have the same reaction when you saw this commercial??
did you have the same reaction when you saw this commercial??
Saturday, February 03, 2007
observations...
*whatever group of people tried to claim that male and female are no different from each other never sat in the middle of 30 jr high girls watching a team of 10 jr high boys playing basketball...
*when your 13-year-old son tells you that he is not nervous when 30 jr high girls are watching him play basketball, he is lying
*little girls who promise to clean up after dumping several hundred pieces of confetti at a baby shower will use every method possible to pick up said pieces without actually using their hands
*little girls who promise to clean up after dumping several hundred pieces of confetti at a baby shower will try to get out of cleaning up said pieces of confetti
*a wife who annoys her husband in the grocery story can still trick him into spending more money than he intended and innocently ask for more later to go out with friends
*don't ever try to give marital advice to your own father when you are in the dairy aisle standing next to a church elder's wife
*better yet, don't ever give marital advice to your own father
*if you are trying to keep your interim job as a worship coordinator do not plan a service containing a song by the 80's rock band, Whiteheart
Have a happy Sunday!
*when your 13-year-old son tells you that he is not nervous when 30 jr high girls are watching him play basketball, he is lying
*little girls who promise to clean up after dumping several hundred pieces of confetti at a baby shower will use every method possible to pick up said pieces without actually using their hands
*little girls who promise to clean up after dumping several hundred pieces of confetti at a baby shower will try to get out of cleaning up said pieces of confetti
*a wife who annoys her husband in the grocery story can still trick him into spending more money than he intended and innocently ask for more later to go out with friends
*don't ever try to give marital advice to your own father when you are in the dairy aisle standing next to a church elder's wife
*better yet, don't ever give marital advice to your own father
*if you are trying to keep your interim job as a worship coordinator do not plan a service containing a song by the 80's rock band, Whiteheart
Have a happy Sunday!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
bad Jesus art
You gotta check out this post by the arts pastor at Hope Chapel in Austin, TX...
It reminds me of the following excerpts from my studies:
"Christian art? Art is art, painting is painting; music is music; a story is a story. If it's bad art, it's bad religion, no matter how pious the subject." --L'Engle, Walking on Water
"Aeschylus writes, 'In our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.'
We see that wisdom and that awful grace in the silence of the Pieta, in Gerard Manley Hopkins' poems; in Poulenc's organ concerto, but we do not find it in many places where we would naturally expect to find it. This confusion comes about because much so-called religious art is in fact bad art, and therefore bad religion...Some of those soppy pictures of Jesus, looking like a tubercular, fair-haired, blue-eyed goy, are far more secular than a Picasso mother and child. The Lord Jesus who rules my life is not a sentimental, self-pitying weakling. He was a Jew, a carpenter, and strong. He took into his own heart, for our sakes, that pain which brings wisdom through the awful grace of God." --L'Engle, Walking on Water...
"Stripped of religious and moral values, many contemporary artists who are self-conscious and creative, knowing that they are, but not knowing the why, see themselves as results of a cosmic accident. Much postmodern art, fiction, poetry, music, drama, and film represents the result of this unknowing and the fragmentation, cynicism, and personal chaos that result from it.
The tragedy is that so many Christians , in their revulsion at the perverse aspects of such art, shun all art, even that which may spring from a God-honoring imagination or a Christocentric consciousness. The other 'Christian' alternative is a conservatism that responds only to 'kitsch', a sentimental art of the Hallmark greeting card variety that cheapens true sentiment, turning it into sweetness and light or mere moralistic propaganda -- no teeth, no guts, no muscle, no reality. No real Christianity either, if we consider the Creator's work a our powerful, radical model.
But 'kitsch' is easy. It is as accessible as a Thomas Kinkade painting, and as stereotypical. It is manipulative and narcotic, and by contrast it makes true art seem difficult or complicated. For true art is not all sweet reasonableness. It may project outrage, or make a creative statement as hyperbolic as Jesus' 'if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out; if your right hand causes you tos in, hack it off and throw it away.' Such an image is meant to jolt, to shock, to sting, to push truth into our awareness in ways that show the freshness, originality, and surprise of the Creator." --Luci Shaw, Beauty and the Creative Impulse
It reminds me of the following excerpts from my studies:
"Christian art? Art is art, painting is painting; music is music; a story is a story. If it's bad art, it's bad religion, no matter how pious the subject." --L'Engle, Walking on Water
"Aeschylus writes, 'In our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.'
We see that wisdom and that awful grace in the silence of the Pieta, in Gerard Manley Hopkins' poems; in Poulenc's organ concerto, but we do not find it in many places where we would naturally expect to find it. This confusion comes about because much so-called religious art is in fact bad art, and therefore bad religion...Some of those soppy pictures of Jesus, looking like a tubercular, fair-haired, blue-eyed goy, are far more secular than a Picasso mother and child. The Lord Jesus who rules my life is not a sentimental, self-pitying weakling. He was a Jew, a carpenter, and strong. He took into his own heart, for our sakes, that pain which brings wisdom through the awful grace of God." --L'Engle, Walking on Water...
"Stripped of religious and moral values, many contemporary artists who are self-conscious and creative, knowing that they are, but not knowing the why, see themselves as results of a cosmic accident. Much postmodern art, fiction, poetry, music, drama, and film represents the result of this unknowing and the fragmentation, cynicism, and personal chaos that result from it.
The tragedy is that so many Christians , in their revulsion at the perverse aspects of such art, shun all art, even that which may spring from a God-honoring imagination or a Christocentric consciousness. The other 'Christian' alternative is a conservatism that responds only to 'kitsch', a sentimental art of the Hallmark greeting card variety that cheapens true sentiment, turning it into sweetness and light or mere moralistic propaganda -- no teeth, no guts, no muscle, no reality. No real Christianity either, if we consider the Creator's work a our powerful, radical model.
But 'kitsch' is easy. It is as accessible as a Thomas Kinkade painting, and as stereotypical. It is manipulative and narcotic, and by contrast it makes true art seem difficult or complicated. For true art is not all sweet reasonableness. It may project outrage, or make a creative statement as hyperbolic as Jesus' 'if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out; if your right hand causes you tos in, hack it off and throw it away.' Such an image is meant to jolt, to shock, to sting, to push truth into our awareness in ways that show the freshness, originality, and surprise of the Creator." --Luci Shaw, Beauty and the Creative Impulse
Daily Reading from John Eldredge...
If You Knew His Heart Was Good
01/30/2007
Everyone has been betrayed by someone, some more profoundly than others. Betrayal is a violation that strikes at the core of our being; to make ourselves vulnerable and entrust our well-being to another, only to be harmed by those on whom our hopes were set, is among the worst pain of human experience.
Sometimes the way God treats us feels like betrayal. We find ourselves in a dangerous world, unable to arrange for the water our thirsty souls so desperately need. Our rope won’t take the bucket to the bottom of the well. We know God has the ability to draw water for us, but oftentimes he won’t. We feel wronged. After all, doesn’t Scripture say that if we have the power to do someone good, we should do it (Prov. 3:27)? So why doesn’t God?
As I spoke with a friend about her painful life, how reckless and unpredictable God seems, she turned and with pleading eyes asked the question we are all asking somewhere deep within: “How can I trust a lover who is so wild?” Indeed, how do we not only trust him, but love him in return? There’s only one possible answer: You could love him if you knew his heart was good.
(The Sacred Romance , 70)
(to subscribe to these Daily Readings, go to www.ransomedheart.org)
01/30/2007
Everyone has been betrayed by someone, some more profoundly than others. Betrayal is a violation that strikes at the core of our being; to make ourselves vulnerable and entrust our well-being to another, only to be harmed by those on whom our hopes were set, is among the worst pain of human experience.
Sometimes the way God treats us feels like betrayal. We find ourselves in a dangerous world, unable to arrange for the water our thirsty souls so desperately need. Our rope won’t take the bucket to the bottom of the well. We know God has the ability to draw water for us, but oftentimes he won’t. We feel wronged. After all, doesn’t Scripture say that if we have the power to do someone good, we should do it (Prov. 3:27)? So why doesn’t God?
As I spoke with a friend about her painful life, how reckless and unpredictable God seems, she turned and with pleading eyes asked the question we are all asking somewhere deep within: “How can I trust a lover who is so wild?” Indeed, how do we not only trust him, but love him in return? There’s only one possible answer: You could love him if you knew his heart was good.
(The Sacred Romance , 70)
(to subscribe to these Daily Readings, go to www.ransomedheart.org)
Monday, January 29, 2007
new topic...finally!
I want to go here in March 2008!
(this guy is a mentor to me though we've never even met...)
p.s.--i know, i know -- i'm NOT a pastor! (only a minor detail)
(this guy is a mentor to me though we've never even met...)
p.s.--i know, i know -- i'm NOT a pastor! (only a minor detail)
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
did anyone notice the word 'sickness'?!?!
well, it's official -- you all are no help to me at all!
I'm like the proverbial drowning woman and instead of throwing me a line, you all threw me a bottle of water!
"Get the cricket," you said.
Get the cricket!
Now how am I gonna....
...mic a cricket?!?
I'm like the proverbial drowning woman and instead of throwing me a line, you all threw me a bottle of water!
"Get the cricket," you said.
Get the cricket!
Now how am I gonna....
...mic a cricket?!?
Monday, January 22, 2007
day off from depth...
thanks to burningalive for my post title for today!
i realized recently when someone asked me what i did to rest that i had gotten sloppy in my rest habits! i might physically rest but am lousy in the mental rest department. so, this day off, i committed to myself and my husband (God bless him) that i would refuse to entertain any thoughts about work. it was a little bit hard at first, but i got kinda good at it after awhile.
i took a great nap, watched that most-chickest-of-all-chick-flicks, The Notebook and read (get this) The Cricket in Times Square (didn't have any lighthearted books in my own stack to choose from for my day off from depth...had to borrow from the kids!) What a great little story that is about a country-cricket-from-Connecticut who gets hijacked in a picnic basket to the subway station in Times Square. He discovers he possesses greatness in his music and still chooses to play for the willows and the hedgehogs in the Connecticut meadows instead of the teeming masses in the Big Apple.
I realize i am fighting a sickness when, upon closing the book, i begin to think how cool it would be to have Chester the Cricket play a hymn for us at church some Sunday morning. : )
I'll leave with you my favorite quote from the book (which is illustrated by Garth Williams of Little House fame, by the way...one of my favorite illustrators ever) --
" 'I guess I'm just feeling Septemberish,' sighed Chester. 'It's getting towards Autumn now. And it's so pretty up in Connecticut. All the trees change color. The days get very clear - with a little smoke on the horizon from burning leaves. Pumpkins begin to come out.' "
i realized recently when someone asked me what i did to rest that i had gotten sloppy in my rest habits! i might physically rest but am lousy in the mental rest department. so, this day off, i committed to myself and my husband (God bless him) that i would refuse to entertain any thoughts about work. it was a little bit hard at first, but i got kinda good at it after awhile.
i took a great nap, watched that most-chickest-of-all-chick-flicks, The Notebook and read (get this) The Cricket in Times Square (didn't have any lighthearted books in my own stack to choose from for my day off from depth...had to borrow from the kids!) What a great little story that is about a country-cricket-from-Connecticut who gets hijacked in a picnic basket to the subway station in Times Square. He discovers he possesses greatness in his music and still chooses to play for the willows and the hedgehogs in the Connecticut meadows instead of the teeming masses in the Big Apple.
I realize i am fighting a sickness when, upon closing the book, i begin to think how cool it would be to have Chester the Cricket play a hymn for us at church some Sunday morning. : )
I'll leave with you my favorite quote from the book (which is illustrated by Garth Williams of Little House fame, by the way...one of my favorite illustrators ever) --
" 'I guess I'm just feeling Septemberish,' sighed Chester. 'It's getting towards Autumn now. And it's so pretty up in Connecticut. All the trees change color. The days get very clear - with a little smoke on the horizon from burning leaves. Pumpkins begin to come out.' "
Friday, January 19, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
more from Romans
Romans 3: 27ish-31ish
What we've learned is this: God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We've finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade.
...God sets right all who welcome his action and enter into it, both those who follow our religious system and those who have never heard of our religion.
But by shifting our focus from what we do to what God does, don't we cancel out all our careful keeping of the rules and ways God commanded? Not at all. What happens, in fact, is that by putting that entire way of life in its proper place, we confirm it.
God, please help me to stop trying to earn the favor that you have already lavished on me.
What we've learned is this: God does not respond to what we do; we respond to what God does. We've finally figured it out. Our lives get in step with God and all others by letting him set the pace, not by proudly or anxiously trying to run the parade.
...God sets right all who welcome his action and enter into it, both those who follow our religious system and those who have never heard of our religion.
But by shifting our focus from what we do to what God does, don't we cancel out all our careful keeping of the rules and ways God commanded? Not at all. What happens, in fact, is that by putting that entire way of life in its proper place, we confirm it.
God, please help me to stop trying to earn the favor that you have already lavished on me.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
i am humbled
...I think it is more than mere coincidence that at the same time we are having these High Church discussions, God led me to read through Romans and sent the movie Luther into my mailbox (via Netflix) today.... (i did not plan a single one of those things to coincide)
God must be merciful...
God must be merciful...
Monday, January 15, 2007
worship is a verb...
"The focus of worship is not human experience, not a lecture, not entertainment, but Jesus Christ - his life, death and resurrection."
-- Robert Webber, Worship is a Verb
-- Robert Webber, Worship is a Verb
notes on my studies...
Sitting at the dining room table, listening to Vince Gill on my ipod and studying the writings of an expert in the field of Ancient-Future worship (his phrase), Robert Webber...it occurs to me that so much of what we say is our musical/artistic preference does not have as much to do with our spiritual hearts and more to do with our physical experiences...
in other words, as i'm studying different traditions i can picture those of my friends who labor in the ministry of leading worship reflecting their heart for God and their spiritual gifts in totally different ways than their current preferences demonstrate....
in other words, as i'm studying different traditions i can picture those of my friends who labor in the ministry of leading worship reflecting their heart for God and their spiritual gifts in totally different ways than their current preferences demonstrate....
the vote has been counted...
...and it's a resounding lack of direction! So, being the diplomat that I am, I'm going to post on both topics (i'd make a great politician, huh?)
LITURGY, HIGH CHURCH AND YOU
You probably had to be there.
Our service planning team gathered last Wednesday for an Easter Design meeting. Our pastors had requested we research ways to incorporate some aspects of a High Church/liturgical worship service into our Easter services. Now, I'm new to leading this group and what I expected to get pushback on were the style issues: organ music, old hymns, stained glass art (we're pretty contemporary in our music preferences in this group...not necessarily modern, but contemporary; if you polled us privately you'd probably discover a whole lot of the greatest hits from Chicago and Aerosmith and James Taylor hiding in our ipod playlists! and don't you dare tell anyone that my favorite song of all time is sung by Rupert Holmes!)
ANYWAY...chalk it up to inexperience, but I was totally taken off guard at the passionate response not to the style of service, but to the association with anything High Church. Even though all the research I had done prior to the meeting was from Episcopal and Lutheran churches, those who had been misled by their Catholic upbringing were not interested in borrowing any tradition or liturgy that might remind them of the experience.
It was pretty short-sighted of me to not plan for this since I have a similar reaction to anything that smacks of 1970's Baptist Church (in case you are wondering, a worship service planned around this feel would include a lot of plaid polyester and culottes and American flags for the bicentennial celebrations as well as a healthy dose of altar calls for people to pray the sinner's prayer so that they could be sure to wind up in heaven when they die; also the bulletin would include a list of other ministries to avoid because of their association with charismatic churches. To this day I refuse to call a "church family get-together" a potluck fellowship! And this doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about the 1980s Baptist church...).
This is going to be a great ongoing discussion for us. I'll post the content of a follow-up email I sent to the service planning team in case you are interested in how I equate a Union Center Easter service using liturgy to a Christmas dinner with Brian's family.
ROMANS
I read through the whole book in three sittings. I can't recommend this kind of Bible reading enough...it has deepened my understanding of both Acts and Romans in a big, big way. When I read large portions in a sitting I feel like I get to know the author behind the writing so much more. It's harder to take verses out of context and it's harder to feel numb to amazing truths just because I've happened to hear them recited a million times in my life. When I'm reading this way, I have the feeling of a person who is just hearing the story for the first time. It's a feeling of 'you've-got-to-be-kidding-me-this-is-way-too-good-to-be-true-i-want-to-follow-jesus-sign-me-up!' The whole story of the gospel is so much more obvious to me this way.
So, over the next few posts, I'll write a few of my favorite verses -- seen in technicolor this time around: Romans 4:2-8 -- (from The Message; all italics are mine)
If Abraham, by what he did for God got God to approve him, he could certainly have taken credit for it. But the story we're given is a God-story, not an Abraham-story. What we read in Scripture is, 'Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, and that was the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own.
If you're a hard worker and do a good job you deserve your pay; we don't call your wages a gift! But if you see the job is too big for you, that it's something only God can do, and you trust him to do it - you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked -- well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God.
Sheer gift.
David confirms this way of looking at it, saying that the one who trusts God to do the putting-everything-right without insisting on having a say in it is one fortunate man:
LITURGY, HIGH CHURCH AND YOU
You probably had to be there.
Our service planning team gathered last Wednesday for an Easter Design meeting. Our pastors had requested we research ways to incorporate some aspects of a High Church/liturgical worship service into our Easter services. Now, I'm new to leading this group and what I expected to get pushback on were the style issues: organ music, old hymns, stained glass art (we're pretty contemporary in our music preferences in this group...not necessarily modern, but contemporary; if you polled us privately you'd probably discover a whole lot of the greatest hits from Chicago and Aerosmith and James Taylor hiding in our ipod playlists! and don't you dare tell anyone that my favorite song of all time is sung by Rupert Holmes!)
ANYWAY...chalk it up to inexperience, but I was totally taken off guard at the passionate response not to the style of service, but to the association with anything High Church. Even though all the research I had done prior to the meeting was from Episcopal and Lutheran churches, those who had been misled by their Catholic upbringing were not interested in borrowing any tradition or liturgy that might remind them of the experience.
It was pretty short-sighted of me to not plan for this since I have a similar reaction to anything that smacks of 1970's Baptist Church (in case you are wondering, a worship service planned around this feel would include a lot of plaid polyester and culottes and American flags for the bicentennial celebrations as well as a healthy dose of altar calls for people to pray the sinner's prayer so that they could be sure to wind up in heaven when they die; also the bulletin would include a list of other ministries to avoid because of their association with charismatic churches. To this day I refuse to call a "church family get-together" a potluck fellowship! And this doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about the 1980s Baptist church...).
This is going to be a great ongoing discussion for us. I'll post the content of a follow-up email I sent to the service planning team in case you are interested in how I equate a Union Center Easter service using liturgy to a Christmas dinner with Brian's family.
ROMANS
I read through the whole book in three sittings. I can't recommend this kind of Bible reading enough...it has deepened my understanding of both Acts and Romans in a big, big way. When I read large portions in a sitting I feel like I get to know the author behind the writing so much more. It's harder to take verses out of context and it's harder to feel numb to amazing truths just because I've happened to hear them recited a million times in my life. When I'm reading this way, I have the feeling of a person who is just hearing the story for the first time. It's a feeling of 'you've-got-to-be-kidding-me-this-is-way-too-good-to-be-true-i-want-to-follow-jesus-sign-me-up!' The whole story of the gospel is so much more obvious to me this way.
So, over the next few posts, I'll write a few of my favorite verses -- seen in technicolor this time around: Romans 4:2-8 -- (from The Message; all italics are mine)
If Abraham, by what he did for God got God to approve him, he could certainly have taken credit for it. But the story we're given is a God-story, not an Abraham-story. What we read in Scripture is, 'Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, and that was the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own.
If you're a hard worker and do a good job you deserve your pay; we don't call your wages a gift! But if you see the job is too big for you, that it's something only God can do, and you trust him to do it - you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked -- well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God.
Sheer gift.
David confirms this way of looking at it, saying that the one who trusts God to do the putting-everything-right without insisting on having a say in it is one fortunate man:
Now, don't you want to follow a God like that?Fortunate those whose crimes are carted off,
whose sins are wiped
clean from the slate.
Fortunate the person against
whom the Lord does not keep score.
(me too...)
And, lastly, on a NEW TOPIC:
Brian and I ordered the movie Crash from Netflix and watched it Saturday night. (hard to watch, but revealing of the depravity of man) And I believe it was providential that when we turned off the movie, already feeling sober and repentant, the TV channel we turned to was playing a documentary of the life and death of Dr. King. May God bless today those who have committed their lives to fighting the status quo of greed and corruption on behalf of those who could not speak for themselves. I will become a more mature believer when I understand how this applies to my personal daily choices. I am praying for this to happen for me soon.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
so much to write about and so little time...
I'm excited about another new friend on the blogging block...welcome zephaniah317! This getting fun...
So, I'm supposed to be headed out the door for work and am instead sitting here blogging...is that a sign of a problem? I just can't decide what to post today. I've got some great stuff I read in Romans (along the lines of the Acts learnings) OR I could talk about the very passionate discussion our service planning team had yesterday about 'high church', liturgy, stale ritual vs. life-giving tradition.
Can I take a vote? What would you like to hear??
In the meantime, I need to get to work! I'll leave with this thought from Romans 3:23ish - 26ish (the Message)
Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners...and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, GOD DID IT FOR US!!! (yipppeeee!)
Out of sheer generosity he puts us in right standing with himself.
A pure gift.
He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wantes us to be. And he did it by the means of Jesus Christ... This is...NOW -- this is current history.
God sets things right.
He also makes it possible for us to live in his rightness.
YAY, GOD!!! I am forever grateful....
So, I'm supposed to be headed out the door for work and am instead sitting here blogging...is that a sign of a problem? I just can't decide what to post today. I've got some great stuff I read in Romans (along the lines of the Acts learnings) OR I could talk about the very passionate discussion our service planning team had yesterday about 'high church', liturgy, stale ritual vs. life-giving tradition.
Can I take a vote? What would you like to hear??
In the meantime, I need to get to work! I'll leave with this thought from Romans 3:23ish - 26ish (the Message)
Since we've compiled this long and sorry record as sinners...and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, GOD DID IT FOR US!!! (yipppeeee!)
Out of sheer generosity he puts us in right standing with himself.
A pure gift.
He got us out of the mess we're in and restored us to where he always wantes us to be. And he did it by the means of Jesus Christ... This is...NOW -- this is current history.
God sets things right.
He also makes it possible for us to live in his rightness.
YAY, GOD!!! I am forever grateful....
Monday, January 08, 2007
it's not linear...it's story
For the longest time I've been meaning to read through the book of Acts. In all my years of attending Christian school and going to church I've spent hardly any time in Acts (except for that infamous chapter 2)
I've learned that I learn things the best in big chunks. I'm a concept person. I am not one of those people who can take one word or one thought or phrase and ponder it and pull deep meaning from it (this is why I'll never be able to write a novel--great novel writers create story from the tiniest detail) so I sat down toward the end of the Christmas vacation and pulled out my parallel Message/NASB and started reading Acts straight through. I gotta admit....I started feeling a little bit disappointed. I think I was hoping for an annointed listing of 'how-to's' -- a great formula for how to work in church ministry and be an all-around-great-Christian.
That's not what I found.
(here's some thoughts from my journal on the subject...)
"...read through the book of Acts this week--pretty fascinating stuff. Donald Miller is right -- there are NO formulas! Even the basic way that people received the Holy Spirit was different. Sometimes they walked away from a talk with an apostle 'persuaded'; other times they needed a couple of actual, physical touches from several of the apostles before they received the Holy Spirit. Amazing...
In fact, I could understand how different denominations can walk away from reading this book believing that certain spiritual exercises are non-negotiable experiences of the Christian walk. (i.e., speaking in tongues, the baptism of the Holy Spirit as a separate encounter, the 'sinner's prayer') I can see how that might happen, except for the fact that no two spiritual encounters appeared to be alike outside of the basic message of Christ's death, burial and resurrection. So I can see how churches might walk away with those thoughts, but then again I really can't.
I am impressed -- albeit, somewhat frustrated by God's insistence on not being put into a box or formula or - even - His own spoken laws! It's crazy...insane! This is a part of God that makes me head over heels in love with Him and mad at Him at the same time!
I want to live with the freedom of my God and the practical daily wisdom of Peter, Paul and the other apostles and church disciples in the book of Acts. To take each phase of life, commitment -even individual moments - into loosely-cupped hands. No grasping or clawing. Head held high in the presence of prisoners and kings alike. The simple message of Jesus' gospel and the way it invaded my life always on my lips...not contrived, not jammed down people's throats, not hidden behind apologetic stammering. Respectful. Diplomatic. Timely.
Happy New Year, everyone!
P.S.
In case you are wondering...here's what Don Miller says about looking for formula in Scripture.
"You would think some of the writers of the Bible would have gone to a Christian writers seminar to learn the magical formulas about how to dangle a carrot in front of a rabbit, but they didn't. Instead, the writers of the Bible tell a lot of stories and account for a lot of history, write down a lot of poems and recite a great deal of boring numbers and then conclude with various creepy hallucinations that, in some mysterious way, explain the future, in which, apparently, we all slip into Dungeons and Dragons outfits and fight the giant frog people. I forget how it goes exactly, and I mean no disrespect. But because it is so scatterbrained, and has virtually no charts and graphs, I am actually quite surprised the Bible sells.
I've learned that I learn things the best in big chunks. I'm a concept person. I am not one of those people who can take one word or one thought or phrase and ponder it and pull deep meaning from it (this is why I'll never be able to write a novel--great novel writers create story from the tiniest detail) so I sat down toward the end of the Christmas vacation and pulled out my parallel Message/NASB and started reading Acts straight through. I gotta admit....I started feeling a little bit disappointed. I think I was hoping for an annointed listing of 'how-to's' -- a great formula for how to work in church ministry and be an all-around-great-Christian.
That's not what I found.
(here's some thoughts from my journal on the subject...)
"...read through the book of Acts this week--pretty fascinating stuff. Donald Miller is right -- there are NO formulas! Even the basic way that people received the Holy Spirit was different. Sometimes they walked away from a talk with an apostle 'persuaded'; other times they needed a couple of actual, physical touches from several of the apostles before they received the Holy Spirit. Amazing...
In fact, I could understand how different denominations can walk away from reading this book believing that certain spiritual exercises are non-negotiable experiences of the Christian walk. (i.e., speaking in tongues, the baptism of the Holy Spirit as a separate encounter, the 'sinner's prayer') I can see how that might happen, except for the fact that no two spiritual encounters appeared to be alike outside of the basic message of Christ's death, burial and resurrection. So I can see how churches might walk away with those thoughts, but then again I really can't.
I am impressed -- albeit, somewhat frustrated by God's insistence on not being put into a box or formula or - even - His own spoken laws! It's crazy...insane! This is a part of God that makes me head over heels in love with Him and mad at Him at the same time!
I want to live with the freedom of my God and the practical daily wisdom of Peter, Paul and the other apostles and church disciples in the book of Acts. To take each phase of life, commitment -even individual moments - into loosely-cupped hands. No grasping or clawing. Head held high in the presence of prisoners and kings alike. The simple message of Jesus' gospel and the way it invaded my life always on my lips...not contrived, not jammed down people's throats, not hidden behind apologetic stammering. Respectful. Diplomatic. Timely.
Happy New Year, everyone!
P.S.
In case you are wondering...here's what Don Miller says about looking for formula in Scripture.
"You would think some of the writers of the Bible would have gone to a Christian writers seminar to learn the magical formulas about how to dangle a carrot in front of a rabbit, but they didn't. Instead, the writers of the Bible tell a lot of stories and account for a lot of history, write down a lot of poems and recite a great deal of boring numbers and then conclude with various creepy hallucinations that, in some mysterious way, explain the future, in which, apparently, we all slip into Dungeons and Dragons outfits and fight the giant frog people. I forget how it goes exactly, and I mean no disrespect. But because it is so scatterbrained, and has virtually no charts and graphs, I am actually quite surprised the Bible sells.
Friday, January 05, 2007
back in the saddle again...
wow...the time went by and i never intended to be gone for so long! i think part of the problem is that i left with some kind of half-baked commitment to returning with a big, 'best of' blog. way too intimidating! so, for now, i'm back and looking forward to catching up with all of my blogging buddies....including the new family on the block... the Rice Family. Welcome to the neighborhood!
i'll be back again soon...
i'll be back again soon...
Monday, December 11, 2006
last post till Christmas
So, it's the time of year that I find I most need to make 'space' to be able to live in the present. To be aware of my family and my home. To not miss moments that are flying by. (I was reminded of this yesterday when all four of my children were decorating the tree together. Since my oldest is 15, it occurred to me that the majority of our years of 'doing Christmas' all together are behind us. We are quickly approaching the years of separation that happen to all families as kids grow older and busier and more independent...yikes!!)
Another important awareness for me this season has come as a result of reading a compilation book of old, classic stories of Christmas. Authors such as O. Henry, Hans Christian Andersen, Leo Tolstoy, Mark Twain, Lousia May Alcott and Charles Dickens -- and, course, Luke of the Gospels-- share their sentiment and observations of the meaning of Christmas in the form of story.
The common theme that has jumped out at me this year is that of 'the unexpected visitor'. So much of Christmas story -- including THE STORY -- tells about the visitor that no one expects and most do not even see, but the few who do are rewarded with knowing that they have been visited by the Presence of an Eternal God -- the very God of Christmas. I don't want to miss the opportunities this year to recognize unexpected visitors.
For that reason, I'm going to put my blogging hobby on hiatus until after Christmas. This, by far, has been one of my favorite new experiences in 2006. Thanks to all my blogging buddies for joining in with me. Maybe this mini-sabbatical will provide the inspiration to post a 'best of' type blog before 2007...who knows?
(I know that burningalive still has a question posted for me. It's a pretty big question, buddy! I'll be thinking of an answer -- maybe you'll have one for me before I come back?)
Merry Christmas to all!!
"You must remember this, for it is as true, as true as that I see you and you see me. It is not revealed by the light of lamps or candles, and it does not depend upon sun and moon; but that which is needful is that we have such eyes as can see God's glory." (Selma Lagerlof, "The Holy Night")
Another important awareness for me this season has come as a result of reading a compilation book of old, classic stories of Christmas. Authors such as O. Henry, Hans Christian Andersen, Leo Tolstoy, Mark Twain, Lousia May Alcott and Charles Dickens -- and, course, Luke of the Gospels-- share their sentiment and observations of the meaning of Christmas in the form of story.
The common theme that has jumped out at me this year is that of 'the unexpected visitor'. So much of Christmas story -- including THE STORY -- tells about the visitor that no one expects and most do not even see, but the few who do are rewarded with knowing that they have been visited by the Presence of an Eternal God -- the very God of Christmas. I don't want to miss the opportunities this year to recognize unexpected visitors.
For that reason, I'm going to put my blogging hobby on hiatus until after Christmas. This, by far, has been one of my favorite new experiences in 2006. Thanks to all my blogging buddies for joining in with me. Maybe this mini-sabbatical will provide the inspiration to post a 'best of' type blog before 2007...who knows?
(I know that burningalive still has a question posted for me. It's a pretty big question, buddy! I'll be thinking of an answer -- maybe you'll have one for me before I come back?)
Merry Christmas to all!!
"You must remember this, for it is as true, as true as that I see you and you see me. It is not revealed by the light of lamps or candles, and it does not depend upon sun and moon; but that which is needful is that we have such eyes as can see God's glory." (Selma Lagerlof, "The Holy Night")
speaking of original glory...
OK -- 'anonymous' wants to talk about yesterday's 'Sing-a-Long' at church. What part did you want to talk about, oh, anonymous blog commenter??
- how much fun it was to take a room full of hundreds of people and feel like we were all sitting around the piano together?
- watching every age group of people in the room -- from elementary to college age to senior citizen -- laugh together and enjoy the same music (for once!)
- watching extremely gifted musicians be free to express their glory in a way that drew people in
- singing favorite carols traditionally
Yep, the day ranks right up there with my favorite corporate worship moments of all time -- from the singing to the laughing to the shouting out page numbers -- it was all worship.
P.S. -- just before the first service, as Brian and Tammy were getting ready to go on stage and we were listening to Neil, Janet and Scott play 'O Tannenbaum' and just basking in the gorgeousness of the music, I told them, "I feel like God just smiles on us all the time." I said this because even this seemingly 'unimportant' service -- one that was easy and fun and barely 'programmed', survived a pretty vicious battle against sin, flesh and the Enemy to take place. I was reminded that by revealing the joy and happiness of God yesterday, as well as the beautiful glory of His children, we were perhaps waging an even more serious war against the enemy than we realized. We have been blessed -- We are blessed -- We will be blessed.
favorites from Eldredge
I receive daily readings from John Eldredge. This is one of my favorites...an excerpt from Waking the Dead. (burningalive, this might be one part of the answer to your question of me, learning to be identified from our glory -- rather than our wounds and sin....it's what i think i started to hear you say in your most recent post)
Looking for a Glory We Know We Were Meant to Have
12/10/2006
The poet Yeats wrote,
If I make the lashes dark
And the eyes more bright
And the lips more scarlet,
Or ask if all be rightFrom mirror after mirror
No vanity’s displayed:
I’m looking for the face I hadBefore the world was made.
(“Before the World Was Made” from the poem “A Woman Young and Old”)
Yes, that’s it. When we take a second glance in the mirror, when you pause to look again at a photograph, we are looking for a glory you know you were meant to have, if only because you know you long to have it. You remember faintly that you were once more than what you have become. Your story didn’t start with sin, and thank God, it does not end with sin. It ends with glory restored: “Those he justified, he also glorified” (Rom. 8:30).
And “in the meantime,” you have been transformed, and you are being transformed. You’ve been given a new heart. Now God is restoring your glory. He is bringing you fully alive. Because the glory of God is you fully alive.
“Well, then, if this is all true, why don’t I see it?” Precisely. Exactly. Now we are reaching my point. The fact that you do not see your good heart and your glory is only proof of how effective the assault has been. We don’t see ourselves clearly.
(Waking the Dead , 78–79)
Monday, December 04, 2006
the big picture please?
So, I'm still very sick. (i ended up stranded at my mother's house for two nights and three days, but that's another story...I received great care, though!)
Today is Brian's day off and he and my son (also home sick) and I watched Hotel Rwanda.
What do you do with that story?
Today is Brian's day off and he and my son (also home sick) and I watched Hotel Rwanda.
What do you do with that story?
Friday, December 01, 2006
bitten in the hand and bitten in the...
So, here it is -- 4:22am-- I'm awake because of this slightly annoying attempt my body is making at shoving my lungs out of my body in coughing spasms...
I'm also awake because of recent conversations with a friend who told things to me that were very unpleasant to hear. In fact, it might be similar to what I imagine the sensation would be of having my heart carved out with a cold silver spoon. OR -- as David says in Psalm
41...'Even my best friend, the one I always told everything - he ate meals at my house all the time!— has bitten my hand.' (although, ironically, the eating meals at my house all the time part is untrue and was appearantly part of the problem)
THEN -- I sit down at the computer and re-read the lovely post I wrote yesterday all about The Poser and Abba's love for his children and his gentlness with us in our 'as-is' condition and I wish I could find a Psalm about being bitten on other parts of my anatomy.
I'm also awake because of recent conversations with a friend who told things to me that were very unpleasant to hear. In fact, it might be similar to what I imagine the sensation would be of having my heart carved out with a cold silver spoon. OR -- as David says in Psalm
41...'Even my best friend, the one I always told everything - he ate meals at my house all the time!— has bitten my hand.' (although, ironically, the eating meals at my house all the time part is untrue and was appearantly part of the problem)
THEN -- I sit down at the computer and re-read the lovely post I wrote yesterday all about The Poser and Abba's love for his children and his gentlness with us in our 'as-is' condition and I wish I could find a Psalm about being bitten on other parts of my anatomy.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
book review #1
Another joy over the holiday weekend was being able to spend a lot of time in a couple of good books. I read two and would recommend them both highly. Here's my version of a book review for the first one.
Posers, Fakers & Wannabes (Unmasking the Real You) by Brennan Manning
I have read about five of Brennan Manning's books in the last three years and have been deeply touched by every one of them. Every other book I've read of his preaches the simple, simple truth that God loves us in our 'as-is' condition and that when we embrace that fact we will be able to be gentle with ourselves which allows us to live lives of love for the world around us.
The only quirk that some readers might not enjoy is his enjoyment of using words that no English-speaking person I know ever uses. This book is actually put out by NavPress for the college-aged market. Jim Hancock, a former youth pastor, joined with Manning to take his book Abba's Child and translate portions of it using more of the language of pop culture.
In Abba's Child, Manning explains that the chapter he wrote titled "The Imposter" got more attention than all the others combined. With Jim Hancock's help The Imposter became The Poser. In Manning's words,
Posers, Fakers & Wannabes (Unmasking the Real You) by Brennan Manning
I have read about five of Brennan Manning's books in the last three years and have been deeply touched by every one of them. Every other book I've read of his preaches the simple, simple truth that God loves us in our 'as-is' condition and that when we embrace that fact we will be able to be gentle with ourselves which allows us to live lives of love for the world around us.
The only quirk that some readers might not enjoy is his enjoyment of using words that no English-speaking person I know ever uses. This book is actually put out by NavPress for the college-aged market. Jim Hancock, a former youth pastor, joined with Manning to take his book Abba's Child and translate portions of it using more of the language of pop culture.
In Abba's Child, Manning explains that the chapter he wrote titled "The Imposter" got more attention than all the others combined. With Jim Hancock's help The Imposter became The Poser. In Manning's words,
This cunning poser exploits my temporary amnesia to make me
forget that everything I am is grace. Everything. Even the grace to
grasp grace is grace. Instead of being stunned by the extravagance of God's
love, many days I just expect it. In place of heartfelt gratitude for the
sheer, unearned abundance of God's gifts, I'm often gripped by an arrogant
satisfaction in my accomplishments and the false security of spiritual superiority.
forget that everything I am is grace. Everything. Even the grace to
grasp grace is grace. Instead of being stunned by the extravagance of God's
love, many days I just expect it. In place of heartfelt gratitude for the
sheer, unearned abundance of God's gifts, I'm often gripped by an arrogant
satisfaction in my accomplishments and the false security of spiritual superiority.
The [Poser] is baffling, sneaky and seductive. At the same time
he tempts me with self-satisfaction, he also undermines my truest self, my
identity as Abba's beloved child. The [Poser] tries to convince me
that, no matter what God says, Abba's Child is a false identity, completely
out of my reach. The [Poser] wants me to believe my only hope is to forsake
my true self and become...'everybody else'.
identity as Abba's beloved child. The [Poser] tries to convince me
that, no matter what God says, Abba's Child is a false identity, completely
out of my reach. The [Poser] wants me to believe my only hope is to forsake
my true self and become...'everybody else'.
One of the qualities I appreciate most about Brennan Manning is his willingness to be honest about his own sin and character defects. He is not afraid to use his own story to demonstrate foolishness of both 'scandalous' type sin (he is a recovered alcoholic) and the sin of religiosity and phariseeism.
Posers, Fakers & Wannabes... offers a great balance of biblical narrative, modern-day story and practical advice on how to identify the Poser and the Pharisee in us AND what to do after that. In the book introduction, Manning gives an overview of how he has dealt with The Poser in his own life.
If it weren't me, I would say it was a fascinating struggle. My
greatest difficulty in recent years has been bringing...The Poser into the presence of Jesus instead of trying to whip him into shape on my own. But it is me, and there's nothing fascinating about it. I want to beat The Poser into submission. I want to win this war with myself. Bitter irony. Instead of surrendering my self-centeredness to Christ, I try to beat it to death. Then I get discouraged and decide my alleged spiritual life is just self-deception and fantasy.Finally, I appreciate that the author does not stop short of leading the reader to embrace the grace of God for herself only, but instructs that truly embracing the grace and love of God allows us to move beyond herself and extend that grace to the world around her. This, to me, is true religion...
I leave you with the blessing that Manning closes his book introduction:
May all your expectations be frustrated, may all your plans be thwarted,
may all your desires be withered into nothingness, that you may experience the
powerlessness and poverty of a child and sing and dance in the love of God who
is Father, Son, and Spirit. And today on planet Earth, may you experience the
wonder and beauty of yourself as Abba's child and temple of the Holy Spirit
through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
rachael ray dissed me!
It appears that Rachael Ray did not find my proposal story pitiful enough to put me on her show. I'm assuming this because I haven't heard back from the producers AND because when I sat down to watch the show on my DVR last night the first story was a proposal 'do-over'. I thought it was stupid and, frankly, I thought the girl was so flaky that the guy should have run away on the spot!! Now that would have been good television.
Oh, well...
I know you probably want the story. Maybe I should have Brian post it himself since he is a contributor on this site. What do you all think???
Oh, well...
I know you probably want the story. Maybe I should have Brian post it himself since he is a contributor on this site. What do you all think???
Sunday, November 26, 2006
respite
Brian and the kids and I just got back from a couple of days near Philly. We stayed with my brother and his wife and their two BEAUTIFUL children. We arrived on Friday which was also our anniversary (sweet 16, crazyfunchic!) Todd and Young-Mee offered for us to leave our kids and head out for the evening to celebrate. In all the greater Philadelphia area, guess where we chose to spend an evening out??? IKEA, of course!! I just love that place. The entire store -- the way it looks, feels, smells, sounds and even tastes (2 great little cafe areas) about it makes me want to fill up my cool IKEA, easy-to-manuever shopping cart with one of everything. I guess that someone pays attention to marketing in the back office there. Much to my disappointment, we did not buy one of everything, but did walk out with a couple of great bargains.
The rest of the evening was spent at the fabulous locations of Target (when you're out of chewing gum and shaving gel, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?) and Outback and the movie theatre. Being out of town and sans children made us feel so adventurous, we didn't think twice about going to a move that started at 10pm. You'd think that the screenwriting masterpiece, Casino Royale, would have been enough to keep me captivated through all 2 and a half hours. If not the writing, than at least new Bond-guy Daniel Craig's well-carved pecs?
Nope.
I fell asleep barely 15 minutes into the movie. Every once in a while -- you know, on the rare occasion of a loud gunshot or engine roar -- I would stir from my sleep and find another comfortable way to use Brian's shoulder as a headrest. The poor guy thought I brought in the fleece blanket to cuddle, but instead it served as a fabulous cushion against the hard seat armrest between us. What finally brought me out of my sleep was the annoying, non-stop giggling from the two women next to us. Having never watched a James Bond flick, I thought maybe I was missing some great comedic dialogue. I groggily murmured into my husband's ear, "Are you supposed to laugh at a Bond film?"
He laughed, too ... at me!
After this wildly romantic evening out, I can say that 16 years is very, very, very sweet. I wouldn't trade it -- even if it meant missing out on some very painful marriage moments. I am maybe, just maybe, beginning to realize how valuable this whole husband/wife relationship thing is and I feel graced that God did not disqualify us from each other because of our own immaturity and sin. (and I realize this is making me sound a little bit like an old sage ... not the image I wish to portray!!)
So the rest of the weekend was spent with a houseful of siblings and cousins and all the noise and loss of hot water you might expect in the deal. We did some Christmas shopping at the Franklin Mills outlet mall and I discovered another favorite store...Fossil! Of course, my introduction to the fun-watches-and-groovy-clothing store included outlet prices so I don't know if I'd be so enamored in another setting. But, check it out for yourself!
Hope you all enjoyed your own "interval of relief from all things stressful or trying" this holiday weekend. Now, on to CHRISTMAS...yippeee!!
The rest of the evening was spent at the fabulous locations of Target (when you're out of chewing gum and shaving gel, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?) and Outback and the movie theatre. Being out of town and sans children made us feel so adventurous, we didn't think twice about going to a move that started at 10pm. You'd think that the screenwriting masterpiece, Casino Royale, would have been enough to keep me captivated through all 2 and a half hours. If not the writing, than at least new Bond-guy Daniel Craig's well-carved pecs?
Nope.
I fell asleep barely 15 minutes into the movie. Every once in a while -- you know, on the rare occasion of a loud gunshot or engine roar -- I would stir from my sleep and find another comfortable way to use Brian's shoulder as a headrest. The poor guy thought I brought in the fleece blanket to cuddle, but instead it served as a fabulous cushion against the hard seat armrest between us. What finally brought me out of my sleep was the annoying, non-stop giggling from the two women next to us. Having never watched a James Bond flick, I thought maybe I was missing some great comedic dialogue. I groggily murmured into my husband's ear, "Are you supposed to laugh at a Bond film?"
He laughed, too ... at me!
After this wildly romantic evening out, I can say that 16 years is very, very, very sweet. I wouldn't trade it -- even if it meant missing out on some very painful marriage moments. I am maybe, just maybe, beginning to realize how valuable this whole husband/wife relationship thing is and I feel graced that God did not disqualify us from each other because of our own immaturity and sin. (and I realize this is making me sound a little bit like an old sage ... not the image I wish to portray!!)
So the rest of the weekend was spent with a houseful of siblings and cousins and all the noise and loss of hot water you might expect in the deal. We did some Christmas shopping at the Franklin Mills outlet mall and I discovered another favorite store...Fossil! Of course, my introduction to the fun-watches-and-groovy-clothing store included outlet prices so I don't know if I'd be so enamored in another setting. But, check it out for yourself!
Hope you all enjoyed your own "interval of relief from all things stressful or trying" this holiday weekend. Now, on to CHRISTMAS...yippeee!!
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Thankful List
Not just for tradition's sake but because I've been in a personal battle against self-pity and bitterness and cynicism for a couple of weeks and because...
"No truth, no matter how profound, will find its way into a heart that is absent
of gratitude." (Erwin McManus)I offer my Thanksgiving 2006 Thankful List
- my cozy, happy home (they are starting to burn down the condemned houses in Conklin...I feel nauseous every time I drive out of town)
- my amazingly kind and hard-working husband -- who also gives the world's best foot rubs AND burned a CD of the John Mayer trio for me for our 16th anniversary (which is tomorrow!)
- my four growing-up kids who remind me all the time how imperfect, and yet loved, I am
- my extended family who have recently produced the most adorable nieces and nephews I could hope for
- my new brown corduroy pants that look great and still will allow me to enjoy a Thanksgiving feast today (only if I leave the belt home, though)
- my new job doing what I love at a place that I love with people I love
- my DVR (materialistic I know, but I am thankful for it)
- my church, as imperfect as it is, that is committed to risking all that status-quo offers in order to come against the gates of hell in this valley
- friends who provide a safe place to land when life gets bizarre
- my blogging buddies
- my author 'mentors' -- Brennan Manning, John Eldredge, Madeline L'Engle, Dan Allender, Kevin Leman, John Ortberg, Andy Stanley, Donald Miller... (to name a few!)
- my Abba who just blows my mind most of the time...for reasons like this...
"Your ordinary self is exactly where God wants to work extraordinary
miracles. The inconspicuous nobody who shivers when it's cold and sweats when it's hot, who wakes up so many days feeling not-at-all-ready to face the world, who can barely get dressed and show up on time and at the right place, who has to read the paragraph three times to understand it, who feels lonely and hopeless, isolated, crowded, horny, left out, and taken in all at once -- YOU are the one God loves! Deal with it. (Brennan Manning)So...
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Thanksgiving
Psalm 111
1 Praise the LORD.
I will extol the LORD with all my heart in
the council of the upright and in the assembly.
2 Great are the works of the LORD;they are pondered by all who
delight in them.
3 Glorious and majestic are his deeds,
and his righteousness endures forever.
4 He has caused his wonders to be remembered;
the LORD is gracious and compassionate.
5 He provides food for those who fear him;
he remembers his covenant forever.
6 He has shown his people the power of his works,
giving them the lands of other nations.
7 The works of his hands are faithful and just;
all his precepts are trustworthy.
8 They are steadfast for ever and ever,
done in faithfulness and uprightness.
9 He provided redemption for his people;
he ordained his covenant forever—
holy and awesome is his name.
10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom;
all who follow his precepts have good
understanding.To him belongs eternal
praise.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
and one more thing! (ok, there's two...)
*any organization or ministry that spends resource tracking peoples' connections to formulate 'guilt-by-association' type lists will not have much influence on my thinking
*any organization or ministry that has to have a link on the sidebar of their webpage that says something like "here's what we DO agree with" will not have much influence on my thinking
*any organization or ministry that has to have a link on the sidebar of their webpage that says something like "here's what we DO agree with" will not have much influence on my thinking
oh for cryin out loud!
I was getting ready to comment back on burningalive's comment on my last post and decided to just post the comment for everyone to see....
I think in blogger-speak I'm in the mood to post a rant, but am not sure I have the energy to do justice to the topic. Here's the comment from burningalive:
Hey this is kind of off topic but could you check something out for me when you have a second? I was looking up stuff on Erwin McManus and one of the sites was this one www.lighthousetrailsresearch.comwhich said all sorts of confusing and disturbing things, not just about him but also Rick Warren and others. Check it out and tell me what you think. I'm certainly leaning torwards not buying what there saying, I was just going to but Erwin McManus's new book and I know you quote him sometimes so I wondered what your opinion was. Here's another link that goes directly to the Erwin stuff http://www.lighthousetrailsresearch.com/erwinmcmanus.htm
I think in blogger-speak I'm in the mood to post a rant, but am not sure I have the energy to do justice to the topic. Here's the comment from burningalive:
Hey this is kind of off topic but could you check something out for me when you have a second? I was looking up stuff on Erwin McManus and one of the sites was this one www.lighthousetrailsresearch.comwhich said all sorts of confusing and disturbing things, not just about him but also Rick Warren and others. Check it out and tell me what you think. I'm certainly leaning torwards not buying what there saying, I was just going to but Erwin McManus's new book and I know you quote him sometimes so I wondered what your opinion was. Here's another link that goes directly to the Erwin stuff http://www.lighthousetrailsresearch.com/erwinmcmanus.htm
It took me a few days to get to checking out this link, but I had a feeling what I'd be in for. A couple of weeks ago, I was googling "Bill Hybels" for some reason that I can't remember now and I stumbled onto a website for a church in Texas that has taken on themselves the mission of protecting the rest of Christianity from churches that use anything but the King James Version and hymnbooks instead of 'multi-media presentations'. I had a feeling this website would have a similar tone.
So, burningalive, here's what I've decided for myself:
*any orgnization or ministry that uses an angry or inflammatory or spiritually arrogant tone to prove their point will not have much influence on my thinking
*any organization or ministry that builds its foundation and mission on discrediting another organization or ministry's salvation testimony will not have much influence on my thinking
*any organization that uses the word "Lighthouse" in its' name will not have much influence on my thinking
Now, I'd like to know...
is this post cranky enough to qualify as a 'rant'??
Sunday, November 12, 2006
worship
"The Church's responsibility is not only to hold to the basic, Scriptural principals of the Christian faith, but to communicate these unchanging truths 'into' the generation in which it is living. Every generation has the problem of learning how to speak meaningfully to its own age. It cannot be solved without an understanding of the changing existential situation which it faces." - Frances Schaeffer
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Yahweh by Bono
Brian and I got U2's Vertigo tour from Netflix. What an amazing concert.
I have no idea where Bono's heart is, but my new favorite song lyric is in his song Yahweh--
I have no idea where Bono's heart is, but my new favorite song lyric is in his song Yahweh--
"Take this soul stranded in some skin and bones.
Take this soul and make it sing."
Thursday, November 09, 2006
my paraphrase of Proverbs 16:1
Man can make his plans, but the end result is up to the Lord;
sometimes man just makes dumb plans.
(i got to thinking that God might get tired of being blamed...)
sometimes man just makes dumb plans.
(i got to thinking that God might get tired of being blamed...)
Monday, November 06, 2006
Get this...
Get this if you don't get anything else. The spiritual life begins with accepting God's wholehearted love for our wounded, broken, surly, frightened, sorry selves. There is no other starting point.
God calls us every one to come out of hiding. God calls us back back from wherever we went running for our lives, calls us back home. God is the love-crazed father at the window, waiting for a lost boy to come to his senses, gazing down the road for a sign of his return, now running to meet and embrace and more-than-half-carry his kid the last mile so they can start all over, as if nothing bad ever happened between them, as if the party he intends to throw that very night is the celebration of his child's birth.
It's always been this way. Adam and Eve were ashamed when they disobeyed God, so they hid themselves. And one way or another, they've been role models ever since. Why? Because we hate being seen for what we truly are, which has almost nothing to do with being as bad as we could possibly be and almost everything to do with failing to be all we could be and should be -- what we aspire and maybe even pretend to be.
We know the truth -- or at least much of the truth -- about ourselves, and it's not all that pretty. Our way of dealing with the ugliness is mainly misdirection: Hey, look how ugly that guy is! Look at all the things I don't do! Our solution is faking it, taking cover when we lose our nerve -- hiding out. Which is no solution at all.
Simon Tugwell wrote:
We hide what we know or feel ourselves to be (which we assume to be unacceptable and unloveable) behind some kind of appearance which we hope will be more pleasing. We hide behind pretty faces which we put on for the benefit of our public. And in time we may even come to forget that we are hiding, and think that our assumed pretty face is what we really look like.
--from Brennan Manning's book, "Posers, Fakers, and Wannabes (Unmasking the Real You)"
God calls us every one to come out of hiding. God calls us back back from wherever we went running for our lives, calls us back home. God is the love-crazed father at the window, waiting for a lost boy to come to his senses, gazing down the road for a sign of his return, now running to meet and embrace and more-than-half-carry his kid the last mile so they can start all over, as if nothing bad ever happened between them, as if the party he intends to throw that very night is the celebration of his child's birth.
It's always been this way. Adam and Eve were ashamed when they disobeyed God, so they hid themselves. And one way or another, they've been role models ever since. Why? Because we hate being seen for what we truly are, which has almost nothing to do with being as bad as we could possibly be and almost everything to do with failing to be all we could be and should be -- what we aspire and maybe even pretend to be.
We know the truth -- or at least much of the truth -- about ourselves, and it's not all that pretty. Our way of dealing with the ugliness is mainly misdirection: Hey, look how ugly that guy is! Look at all the things I don't do! Our solution is faking it, taking cover when we lose our nerve -- hiding out. Which is no solution at all.
Simon Tugwell wrote:
We hide what we know or feel ourselves to be (which we assume to be unacceptable and unloveable) behind some kind of appearance which we hope will be more pleasing. We hide behind pretty faces which we put on for the benefit of our public. And in time we may even come to forget that we are hiding, and think that our assumed pretty face is what we really look like.
--from Brennan Manning's book, "Posers, Fakers, and Wannabes (Unmasking the Real You)"
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
p.s.
"The purpose of the church cannot be to survive or even to thrive but to serve. And sometimes servants die in the serving." -- Erwin McManus
and also this...
"Here it is again, the Great Reversal: many of the first ending up last, and the last first." -- Matthew 20:16
and this...
"It breaks God's heart that we are afraid of him, afraid of life, afraid of each other, afraid of ourselves."
-- Brennan Manning
-- Brennan Manning
thinking about...
"The secret is that God loves us exactly the way we are and the he loves us too much to let us stay like this, and I'm just trying to trust that." -- Anne Lamott
Friday, October 27, 2006
funny story
well, it's the eve of the big event (for those unfamiliar with the current obsession in my life...i'm talking about the art show) Tonight, I took the night off from 'work' and took my daughters to their fall dance at school and had to leave them with another mother for a few minutes to take my 7th grade son to his dance. I love that they want to hang out with their friends, but it still feels so strange to see them so separate from me -- they are their own people...it's a weird feeling.
So, my funny story?
My funny story starts with a guilty confession. I am a fan of Rachael Ray. I am a fan of her hyperactive morning talk show, too. I tape the show every day and then when I have some time during the week I watch them all (i fast forward through all the commercials and all the segments i don't care about) Last week I got online to order tickets for my birthday month and while I was browsing around on the site, I found a place where they listed topics for upcoming shows and invited viewers to send in their own stories about the topics. One of the topics listed was "Do You Want a Proposal Do-Over?"
Someday, if you'd like I can tell you the story of Brian's proposal (hint: it involves 7-up, pretzels and a gas pump) It's a funny story. I'm glad I married him. I wouldn't want it any other way, but I wouldn't mind a do-over on the proposal. So I sent my whole story.
A few days later, we were all sitting around the family room and the phone rang. Alex grabbed the phone and said, "Mom, it's the Rachael Ray show!" They wanted to check on my story and get a few more details. I was laughing so much and was so nervous that I could hardly talk. The other funny part was that I hadn't told Brian about sending the email and he couldn't figure out why the Rachael Ray show called and I was running down the hall to hide in the bedroom while talking with the guy from the show.
Anyway, the guy told me that my story would be set aside for the producers to see and they'd call me back. So, who knows?!?
that's my funny story.
more details later...
So, my funny story?
My funny story starts with a guilty confession. I am a fan of Rachael Ray. I am a fan of her hyperactive morning talk show, too. I tape the show every day and then when I have some time during the week I watch them all (i fast forward through all the commercials and all the segments i don't care about) Last week I got online to order tickets for my birthday month and while I was browsing around on the site, I found a place where they listed topics for upcoming shows and invited viewers to send in their own stories about the topics. One of the topics listed was "Do You Want a Proposal Do-Over?"
Someday, if you'd like I can tell you the story of Brian's proposal (hint: it involves 7-up, pretzels and a gas pump) It's a funny story. I'm glad I married him. I wouldn't want it any other way, but I wouldn't mind a do-over on the proposal. So I sent my whole story.
A few days later, we were all sitting around the family room and the phone rang. Alex grabbed the phone and said, "Mom, it's the Rachael Ray show!" They wanted to check on my story and get a few more details. I was laughing so much and was so nervous that I could hardly talk. The other funny part was that I hadn't told Brian about sending the email and he couldn't figure out why the Rachael Ray show called and I was running down the hall to hide in the bedroom while talking with the guy from the show.
Anyway, the guy told me that my story would be set aside for the producers to see and they'd call me back. So, who knows?!?
that's my funny story.
more details later...
Monday, October 23, 2006
Broken
Wow! This has been a busy and intense ministry season.
The leadership at UCCC has been teaching a series titled, "Broken", about our sexual and relational wounding and brokenness.
Again I say...Intense.
They had asked the Creative Arts team -- which I serve as Director -- to provide several dramatic and visual elements for the series. In conjunction, we are holding our first-ever art show which happens to be ...NEXT WEEKEND!! (Yikes!) Today, I'm posting the prospectus about the theme.
I have just been immersed in this theme for several weeks (in reality -- the whole year) because I have also been co-leading a small group in CrossCurrent -- the program that the Broken series is adapted from. I have never in my life been exposed to so many stories of brokenness and yet been so full of hope for people. If you know me at all, you know that this is an absolute transformation in my life. I am thankful.
At the same time, God has exposed more of my own brokenness than ever before in my journey with Him...and still I am full of hope ( exhausted, maybe, but full of hope).
Here are my thoughts about living in the tension of brokenness and hope.
Art Show 2006 PROSPECTUS: "Broken"
A CALL FOR ENTRIES
"Broken things are worthless in the world, but broken things God can not resist." -- McDonald
It is not an accident that the theme chosen for the Art Show can be viewed from several
different angles. Hold this concept up to the light and, like a kaleidoscope, turn it round and
round. The colors and shapes of the fragments will fascinate you.
Broken, the word, can be used from a place of grief, as in 'my heart is broken.' Or it can be
used to express gospel humility, as in 'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.' (NASB, Psalm 51:16-18)
It can describe failure in our lives: 'my marriage is broken,' or freedom from prison or slavery:
'This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts.' (The Message, Isaiah 58:6)
Broken can also describe the physical damage of an object -- your son's favorite toy or your
checking account. Turn the lens again and we see broken used in one of the Bible's most
compelling narratives of surrender and worship, 'While He was in Bethany at the home of Simon the leper, and reclining at the table, there came a woman with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume of pure nard; and she broke the vial and poured it over His head.' (NASB, Mark 14:2-4)
In the context of the CrossCurrent sermon series, the word broken defines the relational
and sexual sins and wounds that have made up the patterns of our lives. We have been
damaged physically, emotionally and spiritually by the sin in us and around us. As the imago
dei, the image of God, we are not what God intended us to be. We are broken.
But there is hope. Great hope.
'With the cross before us, we are reminded that life has broken through all the deadly loves
of the old self. We live out of the new and true self. The cross reminds us that we are
greater than the sum total of our brokenness.' -- Andrew Comiskey, author of CrossCurrent
curriculum
Broken does not lose its meaning for us once we receive Christ's gift of healing and
wholeness.
Turn the lens again, adjust the light, and you see, 'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a
broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.' (NASB, Psalm 51:17)
'One of our central core-values at Union Center is 'brokenness.' This is not referencing the
damage of our lives, which may be plentiful, but rather an attitude of teachability, humility
and obedience to the Spirit.' -- Dr. John Hawco, senior pastor at Union Center
In this light, broken describes the beauty of a life that is characterized by compassion,
forgiveness, humility and surrender.
'The Lord Jesus cannot live in us fully and reveal Himself through us until the proud self
within us is broken. This simply means that the hard unyielding self which justifies itself,
wants its own way, stands up for its rights, and seeks its own glory at last bows its head to
God's will, admits its wrong, gives up its own way to Jesus, surrenders its rights and discards
its own glory -- that the Lord Jesus might have all and be all.' -- Roy Hession, The Calvary Road
And, in this light, all the fragments and all the colors of the kaleidoscope draw our eyes to
our Savior -- the God-man who was broken for us. 'The Master, Jesus, on the night of his
betrayal, took bread. Having given thanks, he broke it and said, 'This is my body, broken for you. Do this to remember me.' After supper, he did the same thing with the cup: 'This cup is my blood, my new covenant with you. Each time you drink this cup, remember me.' -- (The Message, 1 Corinthians 11:23)
Practically, we want to invite you to pray over this theme. Study the word from different
angles, holding it up to the light of your personal experience. Get on www.biblegateway.com and do a word search -- see how God treats this concept in the Scriptures. Talk to a friend, explore a new medium, look through your portfolio in a fresh way. There is no specific requirement for the artists except that one of the pieces be submitted under the theme Broken, and that you provide a statement of how that artwork reflects the theme.
Above all, I encourage you to speak truth through your art. Avoid the temptation to draw
and paint and sculpt something 'Christian' or 'churchy.' Jesus became man and walked
through the stuff of earth without ever losing His deity. In the same way, He is able to take
the stuff of your artwork and reveal Himself through it.
I am praying for you. I am asking God to encourage us and guide us and protect us as we
take this risk of revealing the imago dei in each one of us. Most of all, I am asking Him to
bring great fame to His name through our obedience and vulnerability.
Ever your biggest fan,
Tamara
The leadership at UCCC has been teaching a series titled, "Broken", about our sexual and relational wounding and brokenness.
Again I say...Intense.
They had asked the Creative Arts team -- which I serve as Director -- to provide several dramatic and visual elements for the series. In conjunction, we are holding our first-ever art show which happens to be ...NEXT WEEKEND!! (Yikes!) Today, I'm posting the prospectus about the theme.
I have just been immersed in this theme for several weeks (in reality -- the whole year) because I have also been co-leading a small group in CrossCurrent -- the program that the Broken series is adapted from. I have never in my life been exposed to so many stories of brokenness and yet been so full of hope for people. If you know me at all, you know that this is an absolute transformation in my life. I am thankful.
At the same time, God has exposed more of my own brokenness than ever before in my journey with Him...and still I am full of hope ( exhausted, maybe, but full of hope).
Here are my thoughts about living in the tension of brokenness and hope.
Art Show 2006 PROSPECTUS: "Broken"
A CALL FOR ENTRIES
"Broken things are worthless in the world, but broken things God can not resist." -- McDonald
It is not an accident that the theme chosen for the Art Show can be viewed from several
different angles. Hold this concept up to the light and, like a kaleidoscope, turn it round and
round. The colors and shapes of the fragments will fascinate you.
Broken, the word, can be used from a place of grief, as in 'my heart is broken.' Or it can be
used to express gospel humility, as in 'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.' (NASB, Psalm 51:16-18)
It can describe failure in our lives: 'my marriage is broken,' or freedom from prison or slavery:
'This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts.' (The Message, Isaiah 58:6)
Broken can also describe the physical damage of an object -- your son's favorite toy or your
checking account. Turn the lens again and we see broken used in one of the Bible's most
compelling narratives of surrender and worship, 'While He was in Bethany at the home of Simon the leper, and reclining at the table, there came a woman with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume of pure nard; and she broke the vial and poured it over His head.' (NASB, Mark 14:2-4)
In the context of the CrossCurrent sermon series, the word broken defines the relational
and sexual sins and wounds that have made up the patterns of our lives. We have been
damaged physically, emotionally and spiritually by the sin in us and around us. As the imago
dei, the image of God, we are not what God intended us to be. We are broken.
But there is hope. Great hope.
'With the cross before us, we are reminded that life has broken through all the deadly loves
of the old self. We live out of the new and true self. The cross reminds us that we are
greater than the sum total of our brokenness.' -- Andrew Comiskey, author of CrossCurrent
curriculum
Broken does not lose its meaning for us once we receive Christ's gift of healing and
wholeness.
Turn the lens again, adjust the light, and you see, 'The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a
broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.' (NASB, Psalm 51:17)
'One of our central core-values at Union Center is 'brokenness.' This is not referencing the
damage of our lives, which may be plentiful, but rather an attitude of teachability, humility
and obedience to the Spirit.' -- Dr. John Hawco, senior pastor at Union Center
In this light, broken describes the beauty of a life that is characterized by compassion,
forgiveness, humility and surrender.
'The Lord Jesus cannot live in us fully and reveal Himself through us until the proud self
within us is broken. This simply means that the hard unyielding self which justifies itself,
wants its own way, stands up for its rights, and seeks its own glory at last bows its head to
God's will, admits its wrong, gives up its own way to Jesus, surrenders its rights and discards
its own glory -- that the Lord Jesus might have all and be all.' -- Roy Hession, The Calvary Road
And, in this light, all the fragments and all the colors of the kaleidoscope draw our eyes to
our Savior -- the God-man who was broken for us. 'The Master, Jesus, on the night of his
betrayal, took bread. Having given thanks, he broke it and said, 'This is my body, broken for you. Do this to remember me.' After supper, he did the same thing with the cup: 'This cup is my blood, my new covenant with you. Each time you drink this cup, remember me.' -- (The Message, 1 Corinthians 11:23)
Practically, we want to invite you to pray over this theme. Study the word from different
angles, holding it up to the light of your personal experience. Get on www.biblegateway.com and do a word search -- see how God treats this concept in the Scriptures. Talk to a friend, explore a new medium, look through your portfolio in a fresh way. There is no specific requirement for the artists except that one of the pieces be submitted under the theme Broken, and that you provide a statement of how that artwork reflects the theme.
Above all, I encourage you to speak truth through your art. Avoid the temptation to draw
and paint and sculpt something 'Christian' or 'churchy.' Jesus became man and walked
through the stuff of earth without ever losing His deity. In the same way, He is able to take
the stuff of your artwork and reveal Himself through it.
I am praying for you. I am asking God to encourage us and guide us and protect us as we
take this risk of revealing the imago dei in each one of us. Most of all, I am asking Him to
bring great fame to His name through our obedience and vulnerability.
Ever your biggest fan,
Tamara
Friday, October 13, 2006
autumn in Conklin
I've been coming home late in the evening all week.
I wanted to tell you what makes me cry every time I drive by...
Halloween lights on the front steps of a FEMA trailer
I wanted to tell you what makes me cry every time I drive by...
Halloween lights on the front steps of a FEMA trailer
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
You Are a Piece of Work...
I loved this article I found on Relevant Magazine's website. (love the picture of the church looking like Jackson Pollock's studio!!)
You Are a Piece of Work
Rob Merrill
Have you ever encountered the phenomenon called the Christian bookstore? Jesus is everywhere. He is on witty coffee mugs, flashlight pens, Thomas Kincaid calendars and Testamints. Devotionals and political material are available for mom, dad and even the kids. It reminds me of Psalm 119 when David asked where he could flee from God’s presence. Is the merchandise in our local family Christian store the Church’s best attempt at revealing God these days?
The ancient city of Ephesus in Asia Minor took a similar approach in presenting their goddess Artemis. Ephesus, like the United States, was a melting pot where the East met the West, so it shouldn’t be surprising that Artemis was a conglomeration of ancient goddesses. Her roles included protector of small animals, eternally virginal mother goddess and other such illustrious matriarchal titles. Like the God of the pop-Christian bookstore, Artemis offered something for everyone.
A whole month was devoted to her, called the Artemisia, during which a million worshippers would make the pilgrimage to Ephesus. The Ephesian silversmiths were famous for making the best representations of Artemis. During the festivities, these silver statues would be taken from Artemis’s temple, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, and paraded through the city while crowds shouted, “Great is Artemis of the Ephesians!”
I can identify with the Ephesians, who made statues to worship, as well as the Christian bookstores that try to market a savior. My labors as an evangelist have been marked by afternoons handing out tracts to San Francisco tourists, “winning friends and influencing people for Christ” by handing out free soda, and even (don’t tell anyone!) performing in dramas narrated by Carmen songs. All this, I thought, added up to being a contagious Christian. But, to be honest, I saw very little spiritual transformations result from these activities.
Paul had a different idea for the Ephesian Christians than the frenzied marketing of their faith. He wrote, ““You are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which he appointed for you to do” (Ephesians 2:10). The word workmanship comes from the Greek "poema," where we get our words poem and artwork. In one sentence Paul turned conventional thinking on its head, telling a city famous for making art of deities that God wanted to make artwork of them.
But it turns out (and I bet my Ephesian brothers would agree with me) that it’s much harder to submit to God shaping His image in me than it is to shape my image into Him. Maybe this is why God gives us a choice to accept or reject him as the artist. It isn’t easy. God’s holiness sheds light on all our fear, anger, loneliness and lies. We begin to stand out and become different and unique, recognized by the scars of our past and birthmarks we can’t scrub off. And He prefers doing this in the context of community? That’s scary! I imagine all the Church might look like Jackson Pollock’s studio. Paint and passion spilled all over the rooms. And hope for beauty.
In community, we learn a frightening but empowering truth—that the great tragedy of rejecting God as your sculptor isn’t just what you lose, but what we miss out on seeing through you. In his poem W.H. Auden wrote:
God may reduce you to tears
On Judgment Day
As He recites by heart
The poems you would have written
Had your life been good.
There’s no science to being putty in God’s hands, but a great painting (like a great life or a dynamic community) can’t be rushed. It requires many coats and shades of paint, and at several points in the process the art looks ready for the trashcan. But then, another set of finishing touches and all of a sudden it is breathtaking. We have to be able to endure those moments of feeling garbage-worthy, knowing our Creator to use every layer of paint to make the end result all the more beautiful. It just takes time.
You Are a Piece of Work
Rob Merrill
Have you ever encountered the phenomenon called the Christian bookstore? Jesus is everywhere. He is on witty coffee mugs, flashlight pens, Thomas Kincaid calendars and Testamints. Devotionals and political material are available for mom, dad and even the kids. It reminds me of Psalm 119 when David asked where he could flee from God’s presence. Is the merchandise in our local family Christian store the Church’s best attempt at revealing God these days?
The ancient city of Ephesus in Asia Minor took a similar approach in presenting their goddess Artemis. Ephesus, like the United States, was a melting pot where the East met the West, so it shouldn’t be surprising that Artemis was a conglomeration of ancient goddesses. Her roles included protector of small animals, eternally virginal mother goddess and other such illustrious matriarchal titles. Like the God of the pop-Christian bookstore, Artemis offered something for everyone.
A whole month was devoted to her, called the Artemisia, during which a million worshippers would make the pilgrimage to Ephesus. The Ephesian silversmiths were famous for making the best representations of Artemis. During the festivities, these silver statues would be taken from Artemis’s temple, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, and paraded through the city while crowds shouted, “Great is Artemis of the Ephesians!”
I can identify with the Ephesians, who made statues to worship, as well as the Christian bookstores that try to market a savior. My labors as an evangelist have been marked by afternoons handing out tracts to San Francisco tourists, “winning friends and influencing people for Christ” by handing out free soda, and even (don’t tell anyone!) performing in dramas narrated by Carmen songs. All this, I thought, added up to being a contagious Christian. But, to be honest, I saw very little spiritual transformations result from these activities.
Paul had a different idea for the Ephesian Christians than the frenzied marketing of their faith. He wrote, ““You are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which he appointed for you to do” (Ephesians 2:10). The word workmanship comes from the Greek "poema," where we get our words poem and artwork. In one sentence Paul turned conventional thinking on its head, telling a city famous for making art of deities that God wanted to make artwork of them.
But it turns out (and I bet my Ephesian brothers would agree with me) that it’s much harder to submit to God shaping His image in me than it is to shape my image into Him. Maybe this is why God gives us a choice to accept or reject him as the artist. It isn’t easy. God’s holiness sheds light on all our fear, anger, loneliness and lies. We begin to stand out and become different and unique, recognized by the scars of our past and birthmarks we can’t scrub off. And He prefers doing this in the context of community? That’s scary! I imagine all the Church might look like Jackson Pollock’s studio. Paint and passion spilled all over the rooms. And hope for beauty.
In community, we learn a frightening but empowering truth—that the great tragedy of rejecting God as your sculptor isn’t just what you lose, but what we miss out on seeing through you. In his poem W.H. Auden wrote:
God may reduce you to tears
On Judgment Day
As He recites by heart
The poems you would have written
Had your life been good.
There’s no science to being putty in God’s hands, but a great painting (like a great life or a dynamic community) can’t be rushed. It requires many coats and shades of paint, and at several points in the process the art looks ready for the trashcan. But then, another set of finishing touches and all of a sudden it is breathtaking. We have to be able to endure those moments of feeling garbage-worthy, knowing our Creator to use every layer of paint to make the end result all the more beautiful. It just takes time.
Friday, September 29, 2006
signs of the times
top clues that my kids are getting older:
1. after school today there were 6 teenage boys filling my house; playing video games, cleaning out the kitchen cupboard and jumping on the trampoline
2. I overheard my daughter from downstairs screaming and banging on the bedroom door of her older sister, "Turn down your music...I'm ON THE PHONE!"
3. I have two kids leaning over my shoulder right now forcing me off the computer....
1. after school today there were 6 teenage boys filling my house; playing video games, cleaning out the kitchen cupboard and jumping on the trampoline
2. I overheard my daughter from downstairs screaming and banging on the bedroom door of her older sister, "Turn down your music...I'm ON THE PHONE!"
3. I have two kids leaning over my shoulder right now forcing me off the computer....
Thursday, September 28, 2006
oops!
Last night at 11:30
i was headed for bed
when i took off my jewelry
i was surprised to find
a hoop earring
in my left ear
and a diamond stud
in my right
i saw about 50 people yesterday
no one said a word
i was headed for bed
when i took off my jewelry
i was surprised to find
a hoop earring
in my left ear
and a diamond stud
in my right
i saw about 50 people yesterday
no one said a word
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
back in the book of Matthew
I took a little break from the book of Matthew, but got back today where I left off... Matthew 18.
what a loaded chapter! I think for the longest time, I've really overlooked the first part about children and just assumed that as long as I wasn't a child-abuser or pedophile than I didn't need to spend too much time there.
I was wrong. By now, this does not surprise me.
I don't know for sure yet how verses 1-9 apply to me, but I have a strong feeling that it will somehow be connected to these words about the passage from Eugene Kennedy ...
"A child, above all, is unselfconscious, incapable of artifice, and capable, then, of grasping the attitudes and motivations of others with a clarity that is astounding.
The Kingdom belongs to the people who aren't trying to look good or impress anybody, including themselves... God smiles on those people who are not aware of themselves and are not full of plots about how to seize the world's attention. The first citizens of the Kingdom Jesus preaches are the lovers who give themselves without studied awareness to their spouses, children, students, and friends.
These wonderful people reveal God freshly in every generous and unplanned impulse of their hearts....The Kingdom belongs to those, as artless as children, who love others simply and directly, without thinking about anything but them."
Have you ever spent time trying to remember back -- waaayyy back-- before the accumulation of wounds and sins (committed by yourself and others) piled up like too many layers of paint over your self??
I have. And this is what I recall.
I was a child who took delight in loving other people. I saw nothing foolish in giving myself to people for the basic reason of seeing them smile...making them happy. I was happy and I loved the things around me -- my bedroom, my toys, my Grandma's macaroni salad at family picnics -- so why shouldn't everyone else share in that joy, too??
I know boundaries have to be learned. That God didn't intend for us to grow up with no discernment and protection. But I'm thinking about my little girl-heart. That heart of giving for the joy of giving and loving for the joy of loving and smiling for the joy of smiling...that is what I picture now when I'm thinking about Jesus' words.
I believe Jesus can take me back to that heart-place again -- the place where I know I am not alone and unprotected, but loved and cared for. I think that heart place feels like the unknown child sitting on Jesus' knee in verse 2. The teacher Jesus sought out the best visual possible to illustrate his point.
He has my attention.
Now on to my favorite topic of conflict resolution...joy, joy, joy.
what a loaded chapter! I think for the longest time, I've really overlooked the first part about children and just assumed that as long as I wasn't a child-abuser or pedophile than I didn't need to spend too much time there.
I was wrong. By now, this does not surprise me.
I don't know for sure yet how verses 1-9 apply to me, but I have a strong feeling that it will somehow be connected to these words about the passage from Eugene Kennedy ...
"A child, above all, is unselfconscious, incapable of artifice, and capable, then, of grasping the attitudes and motivations of others with a clarity that is astounding.
The Kingdom belongs to the people who aren't trying to look good or impress anybody, including themselves... God smiles on those people who are not aware of themselves and are not full of plots about how to seize the world's attention. The first citizens of the Kingdom Jesus preaches are the lovers who give themselves without studied awareness to their spouses, children, students, and friends.
These wonderful people reveal God freshly in every generous and unplanned impulse of their hearts....The Kingdom belongs to those, as artless as children, who love others simply and directly, without thinking about anything but them."
Have you ever spent time trying to remember back -- waaayyy back-- before the accumulation of wounds and sins (committed by yourself and others) piled up like too many layers of paint over your self??
I have. And this is what I recall.
I was a child who took delight in loving other people. I saw nothing foolish in giving myself to people for the basic reason of seeing them smile...making them happy. I was happy and I loved the things around me -- my bedroom, my toys, my Grandma's macaroni salad at family picnics -- so why shouldn't everyone else share in that joy, too??
I know boundaries have to be learned. That God didn't intend for us to grow up with no discernment and protection. But I'm thinking about my little girl-heart. That heart of giving for the joy of giving and loving for the joy of loving and smiling for the joy of smiling...that is what I picture now when I'm thinking about Jesus' words.
I believe Jesus can take me back to that heart-place again -- the place where I know I am not alone and unprotected, but loved and cared for. I think that heart place feels like the unknown child sitting on Jesus' knee in verse 2. The teacher Jesus sought out the best visual possible to illustrate his point.
He has my attention.
Now on to my favorite topic of conflict resolution...joy, joy, joy.
Monday, September 25, 2006
blogging and church...
OK -- so I attended a Breakout on Blogging at the ICC...fun!
Basically, four staff people from Granger Community Church gave the how-to's and why-to's of blogging. I was surprised at how few people in the room not only did not have a blog, but did not read blogs. I mean I know it is a relatively new way to communicate, but it surprised me that I was already addicted to something so cutting edge! : )
A couple of tidbits...
personal guidelines from Kem Meyer, Director of Communications:
*don't apologize for late blogging (did you hear that burningalive?!?)
*don't overlink (there's only three in this post so far...am I doing OK?)
*it is possible to go too far in vulnerability
....from Tony Morgan, Pastor of Administrative Services:
*avoid 'showing too much skin' (the vulnerability thing again because blogs are personal, but not private)
*post daily in order to build an audience (but I guess, don't apologize if you don't?!?)
*avoid blog "flirting" - revealing too much, too often (not sure of the difference between this and number 1...maybe I was confused, but I do remember that this is where he brought his wife up on the stage and they engaged in a full-body embrace to demonstrate the point!)
*reveal idiosyncrasies (ex. Tony apparently has a hotel soap fetish that he likes to discuss)
*build people up to encourage...Don't use the blog to attack
*build a personal brand in order to build an audience
*keep audiences -- both primary and secondary -- in mind when pushing hot buttons (apparently Tony recently used his blog to comment on how unoriginal he feels Christian worship music has become...)
anyway...I also learned a whole bunch of techno-geek stuff about RSS feeds and different blog services and how to study how often and what time of day people visit my blog (Google Analytics...) right now I could probably just ask you guys -- burningalive, healingrain, jhaas and anonymous...when do you visit and how often? : )
So -- cool stuff -- who knows where blogging will lead us next?!? Maybe I'll convince Brian to start posting -- finally!
Have a great day--
T
ps. I forgot to say that I went to this breakout with Michelle and we had a lot of fun giggling over everything together (btw...I WISH I could link her name to something, but she does not yet have a blog, although I keep pestering her to do so!) OH! I also sat in front of Nancy Beach, one of my personal church heroes...I passed her a note in class...
Basically, four staff people from Granger Community Church gave the how-to's and why-to's of blogging. I was surprised at how few people in the room not only did not have a blog, but did not read blogs. I mean I know it is a relatively new way to communicate, but it surprised me that I was already addicted to something so cutting edge! : )
A couple of tidbits...
personal guidelines from Kem Meyer, Director of Communications:
*don't apologize for late blogging (did you hear that burningalive?!?)
*don't overlink (there's only three in this post so far...am I doing OK?)
*it is possible to go too far in vulnerability
....from Tony Morgan, Pastor of Administrative Services:
*avoid 'showing too much skin' (the vulnerability thing again because blogs are personal, but not private)
*post daily in order to build an audience (but I guess, don't apologize if you don't?!?)
*avoid blog "flirting" - revealing too much, too often (not sure of the difference between this and number 1...maybe I was confused, but I do remember that this is where he brought his wife up on the stage and they engaged in a full-body embrace to demonstrate the point!)
*reveal idiosyncrasies (ex. Tony apparently has a hotel soap fetish that he likes to discuss)
*build people up to encourage...Don't use the blog to attack
*build a personal brand in order to build an audience
*keep audiences -- both primary and secondary -- in mind when pushing hot buttons (apparently Tony recently used his blog to comment on how unoriginal he feels Christian worship music has become...)
anyway...I also learned a whole bunch of techno-geek stuff about RSS feeds and different blog services and how to study how often and what time of day people visit my blog (Google Analytics...) right now I could probably just ask you guys -- burningalive, healingrain, jhaas and anonymous...when do you visit and how often? : )
So -- cool stuff -- who knows where blogging will lead us next?!? Maybe I'll convince Brian to start posting -- finally!
Have a great day--
T
ps. I forgot to say that I went to this breakout with Michelle and we had a lot of fun giggling over everything together (btw...I WISH I could link her name to something, but she does not yet have a blog, although I keep pestering her to do so!) OH! I also sat in front of Nancy Beach, one of my personal church heroes...I passed her a note in class...
Saturday, September 23, 2006
been on the road again...
It's been exactly a year ago this month that I left my corporate sales training job to come home and see my kids and husband and friends more than half the month. And, other than a comparatively short trip to Delaware this summer, it has been a year since I have spent so many hours zooming along the highway in uncomfortable vehicles -- enjoying the scenery of cornfields, truck stops and yucky public restrooms!
Using the privilege of being married to the Executive Administrator at UCCC to its best advantage, I tagged along with Brian and several of the new staff to the Innovative Church Conference in Granger, Indiana. Now, this was by far NOT my first-ever church conference, but it was my first time to Granger Community Church. Honestly, my goal in going was not to learn more about this church, but to spend some quality time with the new staff and my husband and get a chance to eat out a couple of times!
Goal accomplished.
The 12 hour ride to the conference and the 10 hour ride back (we made our bladders behave and saved 2 hours on the way home!), I was given the gift of listening to each person's Story...the history of them -- the good, bad and the ugly. I feel like a bigger person now. My view of God is larger and my hope for our community has grown after hearing the creative and merciful ways He rescued each person and is painting out the purpose for their lives. Beautiful.
Now, no conference will ever duplicate the "first time". I told my friend Michelle that the first Willow Creek Arts conference I attended I was basically reduced to a puddle on the floor because I couldn't stop crying. In the very first session of that first conference -- in fact the very first song of the very first session of that first conference I began to bawl because I was watching kids singing and dancing their hearts out on stage and there was JOY on their faces. They represented my biggest dream as a child...the one that just sort of faded away with all the disappointments and mundane-ness of life.
So...even though I can never duplicate that first experience, the most valuable take-away from every church conference I have attended since has been the refreshment and enlargement of my PERSPECTIVE.
This is a key learning for me. Otherwise, it is possible to attend one too many church conferences. One can become disillusioned and discouraged and just plain, old 'dissed' by all the noise and energy and well-known speakers and unknown faces and -- the fabulous video mixing boards -- of these mega-churches. BUT -- if I can accomplish these two goals, I'll keep coming back again and again - - STORY & PERSPECTIVE.
more later....
Using the privilege of being married to the Executive Administrator at UCCC to its best advantage, I tagged along with Brian and several of the new staff to the Innovative Church Conference in Granger, Indiana. Now, this was by far NOT my first-ever church conference, but it was my first time to Granger Community Church. Honestly, my goal in going was not to learn more about this church, but to spend some quality time with the new staff and my husband and get a chance to eat out a couple of times!
Goal accomplished.
The 12 hour ride to the conference and the 10 hour ride back (we made our bladders behave and saved 2 hours on the way home!), I was given the gift of listening to each person's Story...the history of them -- the good, bad and the ugly. I feel like a bigger person now. My view of God is larger and my hope for our community has grown after hearing the creative and merciful ways He rescued each person and is painting out the purpose for their lives. Beautiful.
Now, no conference will ever duplicate the "first time". I told my friend Michelle that the first Willow Creek Arts conference I attended I was basically reduced to a puddle on the floor because I couldn't stop crying. In the very first session of that first conference -- in fact the very first song of the very first session of that first conference I began to bawl because I was watching kids singing and dancing their hearts out on stage and there was JOY on their faces. They represented my biggest dream as a child...the one that just sort of faded away with all the disappointments and mundane-ness of life.
So...even though I can never duplicate that first experience, the most valuable take-away from every church conference I have attended since has been the refreshment and enlargement of my PERSPECTIVE.
This is a key learning for me. Otherwise, it is possible to attend one too many church conferences. One can become disillusioned and discouraged and just plain, old 'dissed' by all the noise and energy and well-known speakers and unknown faces and -- the fabulous video mixing boards -- of these mega-churches. BUT -- if I can accomplish these two goals, I'll keep coming back again and again - - STORY & PERSPECTIVE.
more later....
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
the death of alone and unprotected
...alone and unprotected....
this is the message of my wounds from my very earliest memories .... the name given me by the foul and slithering enemies that schemed against me in my exuberant youth...
...this is the message that God has been transforming into 'loved and cared for' as I continue to bore into the core of Him and I continue to let Him make the rules in my relationships with other people...
...alone and unprotected wakes me up in the dark stillness of night with sadness and fear and scary pictures in my head....
...loved and cared for is what pulls off the covers of me and moves me from my breathless sleep to cry heart tears of pain and anger and hurt to my Abba...
...in between the darkness of dreams and the light of his voice, i invite Him into those curled up corners of my soul... to bring His gentle truth caresses ...the ones that whisper secrets to me about who He is and who I am....
....loved and cared for, i uncurl and stretch out and breathe fully again....
...my good dream is that alone and unprotected will become courageous and dangerous to the enemy and his forces and his lies (and all those traitors who have joined his side)....
....loved and cared for is rejected by my skulking flesh who would prefer to be entitled to a state of victimhood....
....loved and cared for is accused and mocked by my enemy who wishes to take me to a place of self-pity and self-protection which is the doorway to despair and death...
...alone and unprotected is my enemy and is only truth about the name he has chosen for himself...it is not the real me...
....loved and cared for is my eternal name .... it is stamped on my forehead and on his hands and in his eyes and, i'm sure, magic-markered on my heavenly nametag...
ps. if i'm reading Psalm 95 even closely to correctly, then my strong Abba also promises to put all of my enemies back into their place and to bring justice where abuse has been given me...in his time and in his way and in his mercy (merciful Daddy, please go kick their butts!!)
this is the message of my wounds from my very earliest memories .... the name given me by the foul and slithering enemies that schemed against me in my exuberant youth...
...this is the message that God has been transforming into 'loved and cared for' as I continue to bore into the core of Him and I continue to let Him make the rules in my relationships with other people...
...alone and unprotected wakes me up in the dark stillness of night with sadness and fear and scary pictures in my head....
...loved and cared for is what pulls off the covers of me and moves me from my breathless sleep to cry heart tears of pain and anger and hurt to my Abba...
...in between the darkness of dreams and the light of his voice, i invite Him into those curled up corners of my soul... to bring His gentle truth caresses ...the ones that whisper secrets to me about who He is and who I am....
....loved and cared for, i uncurl and stretch out and breathe fully again....
...my good dream is that alone and unprotected will become courageous and dangerous to the enemy and his forces and his lies (and all those traitors who have joined his side)....
....loved and cared for is rejected by my skulking flesh who would prefer to be entitled to a state of victimhood....
....loved and cared for is accused and mocked by my enemy who wishes to take me to a place of self-pity and self-protection which is the doorway to despair and death...
...alone and unprotected is my enemy and is only truth about the name he has chosen for himself...it is not the real me...
....loved and cared for is my eternal name .... it is stamped on my forehead and on his hands and in his eyes and, i'm sure, magic-markered on my heavenly nametag...
ps. if i'm reading Psalm 95 even closely to correctly, then my strong Abba also promises to put all of my enemies back into their place and to bring justice where abuse has been given me...in his time and in his way and in his mercy (merciful Daddy, please go kick their butts!!)
Friday, September 08, 2006
the curse of self-absorption
an entry from my journal on August 3: (and a fulfillment of my promise of a Lewis poem to burningalive!)
I can not sleep this morning so I’m sitting in front of a fan at my computer (4:30am being the only time I can get the computer from the children these days!) I have just started reading through some old journals and found this poem and quote I recorded from C.S. Lewis’ book, Surprised by Joy.
I think the connection to our conversations yesterday is fairly obvious….
"All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through;
I want God, you, all friends merely to serve my turn.
Peace, reassurance, pleasure are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin;
I talk of love – a scholar’s parrot may talk Greek –
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin."
"The overwhelming majority of time I spend thinking abut myself, pleasing myself, reassuring myself, and when I am done there is nothing to spare for the needy. Six billion people live in this world, and I can only muster thoughts for one. Me."
"…I imagined life outside of narcissism. I wondered how beautiful it might be to think of others as more important than myself. I wondered at how peaceful it might be not to be pestered by that childish voice that wants for pleasure and attention. I wondered what it would be like not to live in a house of mirrors everywhere I go reminded of myself."
"I don’t like being reminded about how self-absorbed I was. I wanted to be over this, done with this. I didn’t want to live in a broken world or a broken me. I wasn’t trying to weasel out of anything, I just wasn’t in the mood to be on earth that night. (I get like that sometimes when it rains, or when I see certain sad movies.)"
I can not sleep this morning so I’m sitting in front of a fan at my computer (4:30am being the only time I can get the computer from the children these days!) I have just started reading through some old journals and found this poem and quote I recorded from C.S. Lewis’ book, Surprised by Joy.
I think the connection to our conversations yesterday is fairly obvious….
"All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through;
I want God, you, all friends merely to serve my turn.
Peace, reassurance, pleasure are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin;
I talk of love – a scholar’s parrot may talk Greek –
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin."
"The overwhelming majority of time I spend thinking abut myself, pleasing myself, reassuring myself, and when I am done there is nothing to spare for the needy. Six billion people live in this world, and I can only muster thoughts for one. Me."
"…I imagined life outside of narcissism. I wondered how beautiful it might be to think of others as more important than myself. I wondered at how peaceful it might be not to be pestered by that childish voice that wants for pleasure and attention. I wondered what it would be like not to live in a house of mirrors everywhere I go reminded of myself."
"I don’t like being reminded about how self-absorbed I was. I wanted to be over this, done with this. I didn’t want to live in a broken world or a broken me. I wasn’t trying to weasel out of anything, I just wasn’t in the mood to be on earth that night. (I get like that sometimes when it rains, or when I see certain sad movies.)"
Thursday, September 07, 2006
quote for the day
OK -- just priming the pump here....
this is one of my favorite quotes from the summer...I got it from QuoteWorld.org as my quote of the day on August 31...
this is one of my favorite quotes from the summer...I got it from QuoteWorld.org as my quote of the day on August 31...
"I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right.
But my damn friends...They're the ones that keep me walking the floor nights!"
-- Warren Gamaliel Harding
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
so much pressure to blog!
alright, I underestimated the amount of time I'd have this first day of school to blog -- what with the cookies to bake for the kids' homecoming (i'm not lying...i really do make cookies at least once a year!) and the quiet house to enjoy and the DESPERATELY NEEDED time with God to spend -- ummm...don't be mad, but I still don't have much to say.
Here's what I do have...
a collage of photos to celebrate the 'denoument' (don't even know if I'm using that word in the correct grammatic form -- ask Dan Allendar) of summer:
tubing and boating on Cayuga Lakelots and lots and lots (did I say 'lots'?) of flood clean up...
a little bit of hiking (here we're at Buttermilk Falls)
a gorgeous and relaxing beach vacation in Delaware...
time with family around the campfire...
a new recipe that is delicious (have you ever had yellow tomatoes?
neither had I!)
...tea parties and slumber parties...
DUCHESS!!
hours and hours and hours (did I say hours?) of vocal recording...
...and saying goodbye to good friends...
...and now back to school (our first year with a highschooler...yikes!)
So, dear blogging friends, it's been a long, full and -- at times -- somewhat cruel summer (think Banarama!) I am so ready for Fall and I'll be back soon.
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